Hi there,
So there is this dilemma I am in, about my relationship to God. I know relationship is important, but if its important, then how you define it is important too, right? So I have this understanding, in my head, that I have my side to the relationship I have with God, and God has His Side. But the way I'm defining it sounds like divorce or a pre-nup or something. Like, I want to improve both sides of the relationship, the same way God does - but does He? Certainly, God thought of the Cross before I did, but at the same time: God established the Cross that who I am would not be destroyed, either. So I am turning to Him, to justify me? Or us? Definitely I confess, what He saved was not perfect.
It feels like God wants a seat at my table, but I am supposed to dress up for Him first. Then I am left wondering "who is this God?" For great stretches of time, He doesn't speak to me; and then when He does (speak to me), I am left to sort of pull the threads together myself - like He knows I will use my intellect and works around it, so that He can keep what's best for us, in clear view. I think that might be it, actually: I have to trust that God has both our interests at heart. I want to cheer Him on in that, but unless I pray for strength or purpose, I'm never going to understand what I am saying?
Anyway, its good to set things out in words, when you are confused. I guess God knows I am confused, already, so I should be thinking more of trust/repenting of not trusting enough. If you are going through something similar, let me know - we need to share one another's burdens, right?
I hope you will find encouragement here.
God bless.
So there is this dilemma I am in, about my relationship to God. I know relationship is important, but if its important, then how you define it is important too, right? So I have this understanding, in my head, that I have my side to the relationship I have with God, and God has His Side. But the way I'm defining it sounds like divorce or a pre-nup or something. Like, I want to improve both sides of the relationship, the same way God does - but does He? Certainly, God thought of the Cross before I did, but at the same time: God established the Cross that who I am would not be destroyed, either. So I am turning to Him, to justify me? Or us? Definitely I confess, what He saved was not perfect.
It feels like God wants a seat at my table, but I am supposed to dress up for Him first. Then I am left wondering "who is this God?" For great stretches of time, He doesn't speak to me; and then when He does (speak to me), I am left to sort of pull the threads together myself - like He knows I will use my intellect and works around it, so that He can keep what's best for us, in clear view. I think that might be it, actually: I have to trust that God has both our interests at heart. I want to cheer Him on in that, but unless I pray for strength or purpose, I'm never going to understand what I am saying?
Anyway, its good to set things out in words, when you are confused. I guess God knows I am confused, already, so I should be thinking more of trust/repenting of not trusting enough. If you are going through something similar, let me know - we need to share one another's burdens, right?
I hope you will find encouragement here.
God bless.