What you are trying to say, is that no, you cant leave your religion, and no, you cant be disobedient to your elders and yes your religions doctrines have power over you and that is how you bow down to them, as they are in place of God, that is idolatry. We are supposed to serve one master, that is Christ, it is your religion that you serve and the proof it is an idol it is killing you as idols have no life and you "refuse", to leave it for His sake. If it was no idol you would be able to walk away from it, but men love their idols.