Judgemental People

[Jennifer]

"Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be." James 3:10

It ought not be, but too often it is and James is NOT talking to unbelievers. He is talking to people who are supposed to believe Jesus. When you find a person who never speaks from both sides of his mouth, you have either found Jesus or you have found someone who has already overcome as Jesus overcame!

"And Jesus said unto him, Why callest thou me good? there is none good but one, that is, God." Mark 10:18

Ok I understand..thank you

 

[Mayflower]

I don't know if we have crossed posts except maybe in welcome. So hi Jennifer. Sorry you have felt judged. I think the older some are, the more opinions come out of their mouths. Hands are even easier in typing. We can think things, but we so need to confess to God and shut our traps then dwell on these judgements and spew hatred. So yeh, I think we all hold guilt in this in our lives, but sad to hear when someone feels that way on this site. :hug:

 

[Helen]

I find it hard to forgive others who keep hurting me over and over...I try to be patient with people but sometimes enough is enough....

Yes it is tough, no one pretends it is easy..if they do them I don't believe them, not if the hurt was deep.

But I did learn a while back that God tells us to forgive for our own sake..not for the other persons sake. Inner bitterness can make our bodies sick. Doctors tell us that.
ecuase He forgave first
I am 1000% better and quicker at forgiving now than I used to be.
He asks us to , because He loves us , and because He forgave first

 

[Enoch111]

so unless the Lord is speaking through someone or sent..I don't think people should do that..

The only problem is that you would not know if the Lord had sent that person your way. You would not even know if that was an angel appearing as a man. The only thing you would know is that whatever was said had direct significance in your life. So the issue is not whether that person -- the messenger -- is at fault. In the old days the messenger was killed if he brought bad new to a king. But that would not have been the messenger's fault.

BTW, and no, that donkey was certainly not the Lord. But the Angel of the LORD who blocked Balaam was the Lord.

 

[Willie T]

ok but you still didn't answer my question, what did I do or say to need correction from you?

Many people here have pointed out to you that you receive certain types of responses and replies here for often no other reason beyond the particular content and perceived attitude of your own remarks.

 

[Jennifer]

The only problem is that you would not know if the Lord had sent that person your way. You would not even know if that was an angel appearing as a man. The only thing you would know is that whatever was said had direct significance in your life. So the issue is not whether that person -- the messenger -- is at fault. In the old days the messenger was killed if he brought bad new to a king. But that would not have been the messenger's fault.

BTW, and no, that donkey was certainly not the Lord. But the Angel of the LORD who blocked Balaam was the Lord.

I know, right lol

 

[Jennifer]

Many people here have pointed out to you that you receive certain types of responses and replies here for often no other reason beyond the particular content and perceived attitude of your own remarks.

Ok

 

[Jennifer]

Yes it is tough, no one pretends it is easy..if they do them I don't believe them, not if the hurt was deep.

But I did learn a while back that God tells us to forgive for our own sake..not for the other persons sake. Inner bitterness can make our bodies sick. Doctors tell us that.
ecuase He forgave first
I am 1000% better and quicker at forgiving now than I used to be.
He asks us to , because He loves us , and because He forgave first

Ok

 

[Truther]

Jennifer, I am a way better sinner than you are.

You need to be a better sinner like me, that way we can judge each other equally.

C'mon, sis, walk with God and don't trip on others!!!

Smile.

 

[Jennifer]

Jennifer, I am a way better sinner than you are.

You need to be a better sinner like me, that way we can judge each other equally.

C'mon, sis, walk with God and don't trip on others!!!

Smile.

STFU I'm not in the mood

 

[Willie T]

STFU I'm not in the mood

See what I mean about how your own language and attitude just begs for people to kick you back? You are probably your own worst enemy, yet you refuse to do anything about it.

 

[bbyrd009]

yes, i am def my own worst enemy, and i usually refuse to do much about it too lol

 

[Willie T]

yes, i am def my own worst enemy, and i usually refuse to do much about it too lol

So am I. But the difference is that we don't particularly care, and it seems to upset Jennifer quite a bit. I don't want her being so upset, so I will consistently try to guide her out of that stuff as much as I know how to.

 

[bbyrd009]

ok but you still didn't answer my question, what did I do or say to need correction from you?

you might read that as less "correction" as you did nothing wrong here per se and more like an illustration of a different way to perceive?

Fwiw i come from an extremely codependent family, and your remarks about the same ppl hurting you over and over resonated, ok. You might explore the concept "codependency," which is particularly difficult to get a gandle, a working def of, if you are in fact Coda. Contemplate that you are likely attempting to please these ppl or measure up in their eyes, get their approval? Which i still do, and i have been aware of my codependency for like 20 years now.

Melody Beattie wrote the seminal layman's work on the concept, "Codependent No More," which came out of families with alcoholic heads, and it is still hard to beat imo, but there are other resources now, and i will say that the reast of my fam has all read the book, and them being female i notice it seems to be a lot harder for them to assimilate this. Women are just more naturally perceived as servers i guess.

But i can tell you that this has become your MO now, and it is very easy to dismiss the concept as not applying to you ok. Coda (hard to find) or Al-anon (easier) meetings might help a lot, never been and want to go myself.
3 Ways to Tell if You Are Codependent - wikiHow

we are all hugely codependent in developed countries, it is often remarked. We constantly seek the approval of others, yes? And this will of course naturally set someone good hearted--who believes that if they just try hard enough with someone they will "come around"--up for failure, when they attempt this with someone who has no self respect, who will natch abuse you to make themselves feel better for a minute, sorta.

Briefly, imo you should not be putting yourself in a position, "doormat," to be hurt a second time by someone who has demonstrated a lack of respect for themselves, >you. And this used to happen all the time for me too. I learned to tell them to stfu and was amazed at how i immediately got respect from them, and i post that with some trepidation bc i dont recommend it--plus it is against forum rules ok--but it is prolly a stage you will have to go through.

Now i would just ignore them entirely, having done the best i could to forgive them their faults, but i recognized long time ago the only reason they were able to hurt me in the first place is bc i let them get too close too fast, out of a desire to belong and be accepted, which ppl here can tell you im sure that i dont seek much any more, prolly im still working out having swung too far the other way.

imo you are a girl and so you will be less hard headed about this than me, and kudos for even asking for help on this. It is a very tough concept, and it is your way of coping now, so plan on like a year or whatever to get a handle on this ok. Telling ppl "no" without providing any explanation whatever is perfectly acceptable, if you want to say No, ok? No can be said nicely, with a smile and everything, see? "Thats none of your effing business" is also a perfectly acceptable response, and can be said with a good demeanor, too. Which again i say with trepidation, but that is the stage i went through myself. Do yourself a favor and drop the f asap, the point there is to not get emotional about the exchange, note your emote level v theirs in most any exchange if you will; you are being maniped into the role of Eve, see, and they are playing adam, lets say.
best of luck to you, ok, and id appreciate hearing of any progress, even a year from now

i think you are just a very good-hearted person who has learned Coda as a way to cope, and coda is a very unsatisfying way to live, ok. Everyone else becomes the jerkoffs, etc.

 

[bbyrd009]

So am I. But the difference is that we don't particularly care, and it seems to upset Jennifer quite a bit. I don't want her being so upset, so I will consistently try to guide her out of that stuff as much as I know how to.

emotions are def at the forefront in coda ppl, and your desire shall be for your husband

codas are just way too open initially, which is why i love and have gone into bus driving, codas make great bus drivers btw, imo bc the relationship ends before they can figure out what a manipulative jerk i am lol. They get the benefit of the initial openness without the detriment of actually having to know and deal with me. Bc i am always right of course--this has only just very recently started changing, with the realization of satans and naive dialectic ty Yah--and yet i seek to be kind and good hearted, which causes me to manipulate to get my way, like that

you might say i was a Missionary, lol; my friends used to be mostly "projects," i was led to them by Yah to "help them," etcetc
still coming here doing that i guess

i said about a week ago? "I dont want Yah's help at all; i want to help Yah"
lol

 

[VictoryinJesus]

One pointed out that Jesus Himself didn't say the words- " I forgive those who are crucifying me" But what He did say was :-
" Father , forgive them, as they know not what they do."

Consider John 7:16-18 Jesus answered them, and said, My doctrine is not mine, but his that sent me. [17] If any man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God, or whether I speak of myself. [18] He that speaketh of himself seeketh his own glory: but he that seeketh his glory that sent him, the same is true, and no unrighteousness is in him.

Jesus Himself didn't say the words- " I forgive those who are crucifying me" But what He did say was :-" Father , forgive them, as they know not what they do.“
no unrighteousness in him—seeking Not his own glory but the glory of him who sent him.

Acts 6:8 And Stephen, full of faith and power, did great wonders and miracles among the people.

1 Peter 2:21-23 For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps: [22] Who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth: [23] Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously:

 

[Willie T]

emotions are def at the forefront in coda ppl, and your desire shall be for your husband

codas are just way too open initially, which is why i love and have gone into bus driving, codas make great bus drivers btw, imo bc the relationship ends before they can figure out what a manipulative jerk i am lol. They get the benefit of the initial openness without the detriment of actually having to know and deal with me. Bc i am always right of course--this has only just very recently started changing, with the realization of satans and naive dialectic ty Yah--and yet i seek to be kind and good hearted, which causes me to manipulate to get my way, like that

you might say i was a Missionary, lol; my friends used to be mostly "projects," i was led to them by Yah to "help them," etcetc
still coming here doing that i guess

i said about a week ago? "I dont want Yah's help at all; i want to help Yah"
lol

Considering that "coda" can be either the final move of a dance... a person raised by one or more deaf parents... or a co-dependent person, and maybe other meanings too..... I have no idea what you just spent all that time saying.

 

[Jennifer]

See what I mean about how your own language and attitude just begs for people to kick you back? You are probably your own worst enemy, yet you refuse to do anything about it.

No it just makes me a worst sinner then her

 

[Jennifer]

you might read that as less "correction" as you did nothing wrong here per se and more like an illustration of a different way to perceive?

Fwiw i come from an extremely codependent family, and your remarks about the same ppl hurting you over and over resonated, ok. You might explore the concept "codependency," which is particularly difficult to get a gandle, a working def of, if you are in fact Coda. Contemplate that you are likely attempting to please these ppl or measure up in their eyes, get their approval? Which i still do, and i have been aware of my codependency for like 20 years now.

Melody Beattie wrote the seminal layman's work on the concept, "Codependent No More," which came out of families with alcoholic heads, and it is still hard to beat imo, but there are other resources now, and i will say that the reast of my fam has all read the book, and them being female i notice it seems to be a lot harder for them to assimilate this. Women are just more naturally perceived as servers i guess.

But i can tell you that this has become your MO now, and it is very easy to dismiss the concept as not applying to you ok. Coda (hard to find) or Al-anon (easier) meetings might help a lot, never been and want to go myself.
3 Ways to Tell if You Are Codependent - wikiHow

we are all hugely codependent in developed countries, it is often remarked. We constantly seek the approval of others, yes? And this will of course naturally set someone good hearted--who believes that if they just try hard enough with someone they will "come around"--up for failure, when they attempt this with someone who has no self respect, who will natch abuse you to make themselves feel better for a minute, sorta.

Briefly, imo you should not be putting yourself in a position, "doormat," to be hurt a second time by someone who has demonstrated a lack of respect for themselves, >you. And this used to happen all the time for me too. I learned to tell them to stfu and was amazed at how i immediately got respect from them, and i post that with some trepidation bc i dont recommend it--plus it is against forum rules ok--but it is prolly a stage you will have to go through.

Now i would just ignore them entirely, having done the best i could to forgive them their faults, but i recognized long time ago the only reason they were able to hurt me in the first place is bc i let them get too close too fast, out of a desire to belong and be accepted, which ppl here can tell you im sure that i dont seek much any more, prolly im still working out having swung too far the other way.

imo you are a girl and so you will be less hard headed about this than me, and kudos for even asking for help on this. It is a very tough concept, and it is your way of coping now, so plan on like a year or whatever to get a handle on this ok. Telling ppl "no" without providing any explanation whatever is perfectly acceptable, if you want to say No, ok? No can be said nicely, with a smile and everything, see? "Thats none of your effing business" is also a perfectly acceptable response, and can be said with a good demeanor, too. Which again i say with trepidation, but that is the stage i went through myself. Do yourself a favor and drop the f asap, the point there is to not get emotional about the exchange, note your emote level v theirs in most any exchange if you will; you are being maniped into the role of Eve, see, and they are playing adam, lets say.
best of luck to you, ok, and id appreciate hearing of any progress, even a year from now

i think you are just a very good-hearted person who has learned Coda as a way to cope, and coda is a very unsatisfying way to live, ok. Everyone else becomes the jerkoffs, etc.

Well what good would it do telling me that, atleast tell that to someone who isn't a victim

 

[bbyrd009]

Considering that "coda" can be either the final move of a dance... a person raised by one or more deaf parents... or a co-dependent person, and maybe other meanings too..... I have no idea what you just spent all that time saying.

well, hopefully in that context the last one, thought it was pretty well inferred by all the previous refs to "codependence" sorry