i am feeling trapped because i am want to be a christian but i know that if i tell my grandparents that i want to be a christian they'll shun me. i know it's not their fault and it's simply the watchtower but i don't want to lose my grandparents. i want to become christian cause i feel like the jws are wrong on most cases but if i do declare that i want to be a non jw christian they will call me an apostate and push me aside or try to convert me and turn me down.
also i feel like i am trapped due to the pressure to stay a jw but wanting to "break free" from the jw falseness. everyday i am still a jw i feel like i wanna die. i go to kingdom halls and i can't trust the elders. i pray to God and that helps. but i think i won't actually be free until i really find Christ.
i also feel trapped and saddened each day because if i stay in jw and never become an christian. then i'll be sent to hell cause i never repented or find another church to go to and follow the the christian bible.
why is everything so tough for me.
i even have thoughts of suicide,
simply cause of my negative thoughts of going to hell
and not having a will to live.
i hate the watchtower i hate the kingdom hall i hate the meetings.
yet i still go simply cause i want to stay with my grandparents.
i wanted to go back to jw to see what i was missing and feel that life was starting to feel empty with out God. i was never an atheist or agnostic i just slowly stopped going to the jw meetings maybe cause of my great grandfather's death in 2014, or just cause i felt too old for it.
now i found out that the watchtower kept secrets from me kept me away from God.
how can i trust the bible or any christian church, or any christian individual.
every day i felt sadness deep in my heart cause i am jw wanting to be christian and keep telling myself to "don't say anything" "you gonna lose your grandparents" "how can you be a christian and leave jws you just started again" i hate these voice i try to have fun and be happy but i can't i never will till become an actual christian.
can i even trust you people on this thread?
do you guys care what happens to me?
what should i do be a christian and leave the jw faith despite the consequences.
stay a jw and be trapped in a religion you don't even 100% believe in anymore.
also i feel like i am trapped due to the pressure to stay a jw but wanting to "break free" from the jw falseness. everyday i am still a jw i feel like i wanna die. i go to kingdom halls and i can't trust the elders. i pray to God and that helps. but i think i won't actually be free until i really find Christ.
i also feel trapped and saddened each day because if i stay in jw and never become an christian. then i'll be sent to hell cause i never repented or find another church to go to and follow the the christian bible.
why is everything so tough for me.
i even have thoughts of suicide,
simply cause of my negative thoughts of going to hell
and not having a will to live.
i hate the watchtower i hate the kingdom hall i hate the meetings.
yet i still go simply cause i want to stay with my grandparents.
i wanted to go back to jw to see what i was missing and feel that life was starting to feel empty with out God. i was never an atheist or agnostic i just slowly stopped going to the jw meetings maybe cause of my great grandfather's death in 2014, or just cause i felt too old for it.
now i found out that the watchtower kept secrets from me kept me away from God.
how can i trust the bible or any christian church, or any christian individual.
every day i felt sadness deep in my heart cause i am jw wanting to be christian and keep telling myself to "don't say anything" "you gonna lose your grandparents" "how can you be a christian and leave jws you just started again" i hate these voice i try to have fun and be happy but i can't i never will till become an actual christian.
can i even trust you people on this thread?
do you guys care what happens to me?
what should i do be a christian and leave the jw faith despite the consequences.
stay a jw and be trapped in a religion you don't even 100% believe in anymore.