In & out

JellyJam said:

Been in and out of the religious institution (AKA Christianity) for near on 20 year's. I mounted belief on belief with nothing I could prove to myself, until my mountain of faith came crashing down. After the collapse I lay in a hole like a dead man, I suddenly realised I didn't have a mind of my own.

It is written that if the Lord has made thing's twisted, who can straighten it?

My mind was sure twisted, to the point of thinking of killing Christian's for year's of mental abuse. But I overcome such thinking, and now I just want answer's.

So my first question is:

Why can't your God fix me properly, I have given him every opportunity to do that. Is this because in reality he is not real, and nothing could ever be fixed with belief?

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What do you mean by "fix me properly?"

I would say to talk to a professional counselor. Either Christian or secular but make sure that they are qualified with degrees and licenses.

Hope things get better for you.

JellyJam said:

Been in and out of the religious institution (AKA Christianity) for near on 20 year's. I mounted belief on belief with nothing I could prove to myself, until my mountain of faith came crashing down. After the collapse I lay in a hole like a dead man, I suddenly realised I didn't have a mind of my own.

It is written that if the Lord has made thing's twisted, who can straighten it?

My mind was sure twisted, to the point of thinking of killing Christian's for year's of mental abuse. But I overcome such thinking, and now I just want answer's.

So my first question is:

Why can't your God fix me properly, I have given him every opportunity to do that. Is this because in reality he is not real, and nothing could ever be fixed with belief?

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Wish I could give you the answer but I can’t, because I don’t know the answer. There are a lot of hurting people and I can’t tell you why God doesn’t fix them. Some may say it is up to the person to fix themselves but I do believe there are some things man can’t fix by man’s power...like years or a lifetime of damage.

Hi, there; good to see you. Focus on Scripture; our knowledge is a fraction of what's out there, compared with God's Revelation of Himself in the Person of Christ crucified, as seen wonderfully in Scripture.

Here are some good chapters to read:

John 3.1-16

John 14.1-27. (This passage is particularly comforting for hurting people that are willing to listen to the voice of the Lord.)

JellyJam said:

Was I wrong to hope that Jesus would fix me his way?

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His way is not always our way.

I’ve watched for years now as my grandchildren have gone from happy, hopeful, full of wonder and excitement ...to disappointed...to broken. I’ve no doubt they will have physiological damage as adults...like all of us I guess. But seeing it actually take place ...the damage being done and it is like fighting something from happening that is far beyond our control to stop. If one day, when they seek answers, they ask someone: “Was I wrong to hope that Jesus would fix me his way?” I pray someone is there to tell them... No I do not think you were wrong to have hope that He would fix you His way.

As my husband said tonight “this is a selfish world”. it is true. Romans 8:20
[20] For the creature was made subject to vanity, not willingly, but by reason of him who hath subjected the same in hope,

Can’t tell why God subjected the creation to vanity but He did ...the word says God has His reason ...but it also says He subjected the same in hope. Look at Jesus and what He displayed to a selfish world. I can’t tell you Jesus will “fix” you by man’s standards but I can tell you He can teach you how to love and that is more “fixed” than some. Love can fix what hate destroyed...isn’t that the message. (Not mankind’s type of love but His Love). Matthew 11:29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

JellyJam said:

Was I wrong to hope that Jesus would fix me his way?

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No, the healing process is a complex one - it has many layers. I have been a Christian for over 35 years , always hope, always ask - you see one of the things I had to learn was that Jesus does heal ' his way ' - it's not always as we think , or demand, or think it should be - I wanted instant healing, and like you seemed to ask and ask and ask , but Jesus was positioning people who could help, using circumstances to get me in the right place at the right time, but also he was getting me to a point of being able to face my past- that can be where the answers lay. Then when that journey began I kicked against it- my mind was a mess, it seems as if I was more lost - the I realised that I needed to let things surface, and not kick against it, and work with it , that was a turning point. I embraced the healing process, that was over 12 years ago now.
I still get anxieties, still battle depression - but I understand the complexities of it all now, and understand myself , and what can act as triggers. My faith in Jesus has grown, not diminished.
Freedom isn't always about total release, sometimes it's about knowing how to fight back, despite what you feel on the inside, but also knowing that one day it will be complete - Jesus will finish what he started in me.
If Christians were perfect, never had illness, never had brokenness, how could they ever relate to others who face those things - the difference is having Jesus with you and showing others how that makes a difference - in some cases release is total, so never give up, I am so sorry that you are struggling x
Rita

Butterfly said:

No, the healing process is a complex one - it has many layers. I have been a Christian for over 35 years , always hope, always ask - you see one of the things I had to learn was that Jesus does heal ' his way ' - it's not always as we think , or demand, or think it should be - I wanted instant healing, and like you seemed to ask and ask and ask , but Jesus was positioning people who could help, using circumstances to get me in the right place at the right time, but also he was getting me to a point of being able to face my past- that can be where the answers lay. Then when that journey began I kicked against it- my mind was a mess, it seems as if I was more lost - the I realised that I needed to let things surface, and not kick against it, and work with it , that was a turning point. I embraced the healing process, that was over 12 years ago now.
I still get anxieties, still battle depression - but I understand the complexities of it all now, and understand myself , and what can act as triggers. My faith in Jesus has grown, not diminished.
Freedom isn't always about total release, sometimes it's about knowing how to fight back, despite what you feel on the inside, but also knowing that one day it will be complete - Jesus will finish what he started in me.
If Christians were perfect, never had illness, never had brokenness, how could they ever relate to others who face those things - the difference is having Jesus with you and showing others how that makes a difference - in some cases release is total, so never give up, I am so sorry that you are struggling x
Rita

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Malachi speaks of 'the sun of righteousness who shall arise with healing in his wings' (Malachi 4.1). This implies the joy and wonder of justification by faith in Christ (Romans 5, etc.)

JellyJam said:

Maybe the fault in our star's is our need to believe in thing's. (Let's go on a little adventure of reason here)

We take it for granted that belief is the most efficient method in helping us fill in the gaps of our knowledge, while we wait to understand. But I am starting to think that belief is something we've created out of thin air, that belief is a way of thinking, not a instinct or a sense.

I reason this way because belief is inconsistent with actual odds. What are the odds that I'll win on a slot machine if I believe I will? I can believe that this time I will win, but my belief in winning does not change the odds in my favour.

Now I figure that the same would apply to anything a person projects their belief on, even God. Do you think that any creator who set the universe in motion is going to change the odds of what is? Just for you?

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We need to get back to issues of objective truth, centred in the Person of the Lord Jesus Christ, the Way, the Truth and the Life (John 14.6).

JellyJam said:

I don't know how, when all I have to know him with is belief. Okay, that's a serious problem. Why? Because I have no way of distinguishing if any belief I have is true, unless I accept what I believe as truth.

But then that would mean I was deluding myself.

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This is why the Scriptures - God's Word - needs to be our point of reference.

I didn't start with belief when I first read the gospels, mathew through mark. I started with pity for the man Jesus. Pity because I liked Him, and wished like mad that the world could be like what He said, but thought He was deluded because the world was nothing like what He seemed to say.

Then I saw He wasn't talking about the world. He was talking about what He kept calling a different kingdom. He wasn't saying the world was like what He taught, but that another place was like what He taught.

Then at some point in my reading, I moved from Pity for Him to hope that He would somehow let me know this odd kingdom He taught about.

My hope didn't turn to certainty until He revealed Himself to me. It was not what I expected. It was not seeing Him as I saw everything else, with my physical eyes. It was inside myself that He revealed Himself to me. To this day, it still sounds crazy to me, but it's how it happened.

It didn't change the world around me, or make my life suddenly devoid of struggles, but it started to slowly change me.