Christian Debate Etiquette: Lovingly Disagreeing

[Adrift]

When a 5 year old hits the baseball and runs towards 3rd base we don't hit the kid over the head with the bat and yell out "Your an idiot! Everyone knows that your supposed to run to 1st base. You moron!" Most normal people would laugh a bit, then lovingly explain to them about which direction we run the bases. Adults, when debating on this forum, often react much less lovingly.

Online, the lack of face-to-face interaction can make it easier for individuals to forget the human impact of their words. In some cases, people may also use rudeness and condescention as a way to assert power or dominance in online interactions. These people have little power in every day life but when sheltered by the relative anonymity of the Internet, they are able to safely act aggressive and brave. After all, the person they are bereating cannot reach over and punch their lights out. They are free to be as rude and unmannerly as they want.

Just because somebody doesn’t agree with you doesn’t mean that they are inferior to you, or that they deserve to be treated unfairly. If I find myself struggling to respect their point of view, I try to consider how they may have arrived at their opinion. We should keep in mind that we may disagree on an idea, but should still value the person. Once a conversation becomes exhaustive, and we are out of breath from blowing our trumpet, maybe we should agree to disagree and move on.

Jesus said, "A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another" (John 13:34)

When Jesus commanded us to love others, He didn’t say that we had to agree with them first.

 

[O'Darby]

The psychology and dynamics of internet forums are always as interesting to me as the subject matter. I always say forums are like walking into a crowded Walmart and shouting "Hey, what does everybody think about the Dead Sea Scrolls?"

They are such a mix of ages, intelligence levels, educational levels, maturity levels, personality types and all the rest that chaos is inevitable. Add in the cloak of anonymity and the chaos is ratcheted up exponentially. (On the other hand, I participated for years on a JFK assassination forum where we had to use our real names, real photos and verifiable academic credentials. It made absolutely no difference! The place was a bloodbath.)

Then we factor in that the subject here is Christianity. There is a reason for the old warning not to discuss religion or politics at the dinner table. For many, religion is at the very core of their being - it defines who they are and determines their entire worldview. They HAVE to be right and you HAVE to be wrong if you disagree with them.

Then we factor in that religion, and especially Christianity, attracts a substantial number of genuine wackos - people who seriously mentally ill or extreme fringe characters in every area of their lives. Some, as we see here, actually think they are God's appointed messengers. If you disagree with anything they say, you are disagreeing with GOD, pal.

Then we factor in that the above tend to be attracted to the most simplistic, literalist, dogmatic Bumper-Sticker sort of Christianity that tolerates no disssension and pretty much stifles meaningful discussion from the get-go. It serves as an anchor for their sanity, a security blanket, a wall against actually having to think or confront the mystery and uncertainty. What they believe may be intellectually and emotionally unsatisfying and pretty much make no sense whatsoever, but by God it's what God wants them to believe and so by God they (pretend to) believe it!

Add it all up, and I see no realistic prospect of kinder, gentler, more substantive discussions. My "solution," such as it is, is to invent a persona like O'Darby and regard the whole thing as performance art, a giant Monty Python skit in which some of the most fun is had with people who don't see the absurdity. The Ignore feature and a couple of Guinness Stouts can be useful as well.

 

[SavedInHim]

Christian Debate Etiquette: Lovingly Disagreeing

I'm becoming more and more convinced that "Christian debate" is a pointless and fruitless activity. No matter how much you try to make it a "loving disagreement" it accomplishes nothing most of the time, and usually causes hard feelings. I'm free to share my views and opinions, and others are free to do the same; but I refuse to debate anyone.

 

[Wrangler]

I'm becoming more and more convinced that "Christian debate" is a pointless and fruitless activity.

You can remove Christian as a qualifier. I tend to leave the facts and logic for other’s consideration. Present the logical argument but do not engage the emotional defense mechanisms.

I’ve convinced the reason for opposition is not logical but psychological.

This thread is well timed. Thanks!

 

[O'Darby]

Present the logical argument but do not engage the emotional defense mechanisms.

Oh, dear God, you are too funny! @Adrift and I have both noticed your careful avoidance of "emotional defense mechanisms." BWAHAHHA!!!!

You might want to introduce your Self-Image to the Real You sometime. It might be a jolt, but it could be therapeutic.

Here you are, on just ONE recent thread, being the veritable epitome of rational and logical discourse in your "discussions" with @Adrift about his observations concerning cruelty in the animal kingdom. BWAHAHA!!!

Nice dodge. You presume to judge God while not taking any responsibility yourself.

I find it hilarious that the Left promotes diversity, except the only diversity that matters - diversity of thought. How dare God create Creatures that don’t meet my delicate sensibilities?!

You cannot even take responsibility for judging God!

The degree of this woke kid dodging responsibility is something to behold. Then he claims to be 75. I presume this is months of life experience.

I'm so glad I had put those guys on ignore a long time ago. One vile post after another twisting God's word, which frees us, to be taken to enslve us.

What is this scorched earth policy of these supposed Jesus followers?

That reminds me of a saying. The only reason there is civilization is because good guys with guns shoot bad guys with guns.

Such a sentiment is a reflection of the infantilizing of the generations since the sexual liberation and general feminization of society.

It's just a short hop, skip and jump to today's power phrase, "I'm offended." I think it was a comedian who asked if you know what happens when you are offended? NOTHING.

 

[Ritajanice]

I'm becoming more and more convinced that "Christian debate" is a pointless and fruitless activity. No matter how much you try to make it a "loving disagreement" it accomplishes nothing most of the time, and usually causes hard feelings. I'm free to share my views and opinions, and others are free to do the same; but I refuse to debate anyone.

Amen!!.xx

Especially when they tell us how to be Born Again..I’ve done that....I’ve come to realise, keep your mouth closed and don’t debate with anyone about how to become Born Again..hehehe..xx

I stopped debating that as of yesterday,hehehe,xx

Don’t hold your breath...please pray I stop debating how to become Born Again!xx

There are freewillers on here ,then there are those who were chosen and predestined to become Born Again.

 

[O'Darby]

Especially when they ...

The dreaded "they."

Thank you. Without realizing it, you just captured the essence of the problem in one word.

 

[amadeus]

I'm becoming more and more convinced that "Christian debate" is a pointless and fruitless activity. No matter how much you try to make it a "loving disagreement" it accomplishes nothing most of the time, and usually causes hard feelings. I'm free to share my views and opinions, and others are free to do the same; but I refuse to debate anyone.

Almost there...

 

[Pearl]

When a 5 year old hits the baseball and runs towards 3rd base we don't hit the kid over the head with the bat and yell out "Your an idiot! Everyone knows that your supposed to run to 1st base. You moron!" Most normal people would laugh a bit, then lovingly explain to them about which direction we run the bases. Adults, when debating on this forum, often react much less lovingly.

Online, the lack of face-to-face interaction can make it easier for individuals to forget the human impact of their words. In some cases, people may also use rudeness and condescention as a way to assert power or dominance in online interactions. These people have little power in every day life but when sheltered by the relative anonymity of the Internet, they are able to safely act aggressive and brave. After all, the person they are bereating cannot reach over and punch their lights out. They are free to be as rude and unmannerly as they want.

Just because somebody doesn’t agree with you doesn’t mean that they are inferior to you, or that they deserve to be treated unfairly. If I find myself struggling to respect their point of view, I try to consider how they may have arrived at their opinion. We should keep in mind that we may disagree on an idea, but should still value the person. Once a conversation becomes exhaustive, and we are out of breath from blowing our trumpet, maybe we should agree to disagree and move on.

Jesus said, "A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another" (John 13:34)

When Jesus commanded us to love others, He didn’t say that we had to agree with them first.

There is a very useful 'ignore' option on this site.

 

[Ritajanice]

There is a very useful 'ignore' option on this site.

Oh yes!!....I love my ignore option....Praise God!!....xxx

 

[Rita]

Unless you’re a mod , then you have to read all the disagreements , debates etc, it’s like a kids playground sometimes.
Monty Python - at least they made me laugh !
It’s ‘ actually ‘ ( always makes me think of a posh English person when I use that word ) a lot better than it use to be , well at the moment. I figure that will all change around November time xx

 

[Ritajanice]

Unless you’re a mod , then you have to read all the disagreements , debates etc, it’s like a kids playground sometimes.
Monty Python - at least they made me laugh !
It’s ‘ actually ‘ ( always makes me think of a posh English person when I use that word ) a lot better than it use to be , well at the moment. I figure that will all change around November time xx

Do you get any rest from us lot?xxx

You’ve a while before November arrives....the day in the life of a mod, I bet you’ve some interesting stories that you can’t share,..that would make a great topic, just don’t mention any names, hehehe....xxx

 

[marks]

They are such a mix of ages, intelligence levels, educational levels, maturity levels, personality types and all the rest that chaos is inevitable. Add in the cloak of anonymity and the chaos is ratcheted up exponentially. (On the other hand, I participated for years on a JFK assassination forum where we had to use our real names, real photos and verifiable academic credentials. It made absolutely no difference! The place was a bloodbath.)

I'd mention one other factor. We are a certain type of people who like internet forums. The vast majority of people don't bother with them. But we do. And why is that, and what is it about that which has such an effect on how we behave? Just questions right now, no answer.

Much love!

 

[marks]

I'm becoming more and more convinced that "Christian debate" is a pointless and fruitless activity. No matter how much you try to make it a "loving disagreement" it accomplishes nothing most of the time, and usually causes hard feelings. I'm free to share my views and opinions, and others are free to do the same; but I refuse to debate anyone.

I think there are exceptions to this, and I'm happy to engage in debate with someone if they can be respectful. Articulate is better still, and knowledgeable even better. Spiritually mature is best of all.

Much love!

 

[Rita]

I don’t mind debate, but only when it’s with those members who are actually interested in what each other is saying. I like nothing more than discussing a theme or scripture with the aim of learning, what I dislike is when people just want what they believe to be heard and adhered at any cost.
@Ritajanice, it’s been interesting, but sadly my lips are sealed xx

 

[Rita]

I'd mention one other factor. We are a certain type of people who like internet forums. The vast majority of people don't bother with them. But we do. And why is that, and what is it about that which has such an effect on how we behave? Just questions right now, no answer.

Much love!

I often have come on to forums because of having little contact with Christian’s in my real world. Being a lone Christian in a family for so long it kind of helped linking up with others. I have been on many forums over the years and made many friends that have followed from forum to forum , most of them were in USA , Canada or Australia - it does make it interesting.

 

[marks]

I often have come on to forums because of having little contact with Christian’s in my real world. Being a lone Christian in a family for so long it kind of helped linking up with others. I have been on many forums over the years and made many friends that have followed from forum to forum , most of them were in USA , Canada or Australia - it does make it interesting.

It seems to me that being on a forum with the motive of making connections with people will prioritize relationships over disputes, which shows in your postings.

I've likewise found that being able to interact with people all over the world has really helped broaden my thinking.

Much love!

 

[O'Darby]

I'd mention one other factor. We are a certain type of people who like internet forums. The vast majority of people don't bother with them. But we do. And why is that, and what is it about that which has such an effect on how we behave? Just questions right now, no answer.

Much love!

I can remember my first internet forum nearly 30 years ago - the now-defunct forum of the International Association for Near-Death Studies. "This is great!" I thought in my naivety. "Direct mind-to-mind communication without all that other stuff that gets in the way."

Uh, not exactly. IANDS pulled the plug after a few years because the spectacle was unbecoming to the organization. Once I realized how forums actually work, I adopted my philosophy that it's all a Monty Python skit.

 

[Stumpmaster]

The psychology and dynamics of internet forums are always as interesting to me as the subject matter. I always say forums are like walking into a crowded Walmart and shouting "Hey, what does everybody think about the Dead Sea Scrolls?"

They are such a mix of ages, intelligence levels, educational levels, maturity levels, personality types and all the rest that chaos is inevitable. Add in the cloak of anonymity and the chaos is ratcheted up exponentially. (On the other hand, I participated for years on a JFK assassination forum where we had to use our real names, real photos and verifiable academic credentials. It made absolutely no difference! The place was a bloodbath.)

Then we factor in that the subject here is Christianity. There is a reason for the old warning not to discuss religion or politics at the dinner table. For many, religion is at the very core of their being - it defines who they are and determines their entire worldview. They HAVE to be right and you HAVE to be wrong if you disagree with them.

Then we factor in that religion, and especially Christianity, attracts a substantial number of genuine wackos - people who seriously mentally ill or extreme fringe characters in every area of their lives. Some, as we see here, actually think they are God's appointed messengers. If you disagree with anything they say, you are disagreeing with GOD, pal.

Then we factor in that the above tend to be attracted to the most simplistic, literalist, dogmatic Bumper-Sticker sort of Christianity that tolerates no disssension and pretty much stifles meaningful discussion from the get-go. It serves as an anchor for their sanity, a security blanket, a wall against actually having to think or confront the mystery and uncertainty. What they believe may be intellectually and emotionally unsatisfying and pretty much make no sense whatsoever, but by God it's what God wants them to believe and so by God they (pretend to) believe it!

Add it all up, and I see no realistic prospect of kinder, gentler, more substantive discussions. My "solution," such as it is, is to invent a persona like O'Darby and regard the whole thing as performance art, a giant Monty Python skit in which some of the most fun is had with people who don't see the absurdity. The Ignore feature and a couple of Guinness Stouts can be useful as well.

Family is wrong.
Church is wrong.
School is wrong.
Government is wrong.
Society is wrong.
World is wrong.
Universe is wrong.

Is that why people are wrong?

 

[Adrift]

There is a very useful 'ignore' option on this site.

Thank God!