Christian Debate Etiquette: Lovingly Disagreeing

[marks]

I adopted my philosophy that it's all a Monty Python skit.

Which I have to admit was a bit off-putting to me until I started to understand you better.

Much love!

 

[O'Darby]

Which I have to admit was a bit off-putting to me until I started to understand you better.

Much love!

Uh-oh, if you think you're starting to understand me I may have to find a new shtick!

There's probably more profundity and truth in a lot of Monty Python skits than in an awful lot of serious drama.

 

[marks]

Uh-oh, if you think you're starting to understand me I may have to find a new shtick!

There's probably more profundity and truth in a lot of Monty Python skits than in an awful lot of serious drama.

There wasn't much from Monty Python that I enjoyed, but the wife and I, we did enjoy A Fish Called Wanda.

Much love!

 

[Aunty Jane]

I have been posting on Bible discussion sites for many years....kicked off a few for obvious reasons, (you can't say that here!) but left some because free speech was stifled unless it was Christendom's strict party line. IMO everyone is entitled to a point of view and posting on these forums gets conversations going in all directions. I try to be informative because I believe I have something of value to share after many years of study. I don't want to be rude, but us Aussies tend to tell it like it is....we are not ones to tip toe around people's sensibilities.....I will have to apologise if I have offended anyone.....its just who we Aussies are.....down to earth and sometimes brutally honest. The truth is worth the honesty though. Jesus didn't pull punches, depending upon his audience. He was honest and whoever was offended was offended. He did not chase after anyone pleading with them to listen to him.....his message was given on a "take it or leave it" basis.

The Bible is a big book, but I see it as one story from Genesis to Revelation. It has one author who inspired writers in many generations.
What we lost at the beginning is what is returned to us at the end....and in the middle is how God achieved the fulfillment of his purpose whilst preserving the precious gift of free will.

I don't think most people have any idea about what the big picture is.....they stare at a few dead pixels and wonder why nothing makes any sense.....or why they find it so difficult to explain anything. I like to explore some (not all) rabbit holes, because it sends me into research, which I love....Strongs Concordance for original language definitions, Bible Gateway for translation comparisons, and the Jewish Tanakh for how Jews understand and translate their Hebrew Scriptures. The Septuagint is also helpful in ascertaining what the apostles taught in the language of the day.

Bible study is my passion, so I am here to share what I have learned, and whoever reads the exchanges can make up their own minds about the subject matter.

 

[Duck Muscles]

It's doubtful those who act out in forum discussion would behave as they do if face to face.

There's an old relationship truism that goes,being jealous doesn't show how much you love someone. It shows how insecure you are.

I think when people delve into personal attacks mode in religious debate it doesn't show how much they know of scripture or their faith . It shows how insecure they are in what they think they know.

Then there's the other possibility. Some people find the Internet the safest place to exercise their inner jerkweed.

 

[RedFan]

I've just been called "mentally disabled" by @darkspeed6 on another thread, because I don't agree that "a change in what you're doing is a change in yourself." It's just sad.

 

[Ritajanice]

I don’t mind debate, but only when it’s with those members who are actually interested in what each other is saying. I like nothing more than discussing a theme or scripture with the aim of learning, what I dislike is when people just want what they believe to be heard and adhered at any cost.

I’ve only just learnt to understand what you say above, that was another lesson, long time coming.

It used to be my way or the highway...oh boy, I could only see that my way was the right way..

NO.....it’s not.....thanks for that.....so very true.xxx

 

[Ritajanice]

It's doubtful those who act out in forum discussion would behave as they do if face to face.

There's an old relationship truism that goes,being jealous doesn't show how much you love someone. It shows how insecure you are.

I think when people delve into personal attacks mode in religious debate it doesn't show how much they know of scripture or their faith . It shows how insecure they are in what they think they know.

Then there's the other possibility. Some people find the Internet the safest place to exercise their inner jerkweed.

Trust me at one time I would start an argument with my own shadow.....I was very vocal back in the day, you can ask my neighbours.....if I had behaved as I did back then, I know I would have been banned from day one.

This forum has helped me tremendously understand my behaviour..

God brought me here to learn...that is my belief 100%..xx

 

[Rita]

I’ve only just learnt to understand what you say above, that was another lesson, long time coming.

It used to be my way or the highway...oh boy, I could only see that my way was the right way..

NO.....it’s not.....thanks for that.....so very true.xxx

I think all of us have gone through these kind of phases, I would say that the change is part of maturity and learning. once you reach a place of believing that you know everything there is little chance of you growing and it’s easy to stagnate.

 

[Ritajanice]

I think all of us have gone through these kind of phases, I would say that the change is part of maturity and learning. once you reach a place of believing that you know everything there is little chance of you growing and it’s easy to stagnate.

AMEN!!!!xx

 

[Wynona]

I try to keep my expectations low and do a lot of drive by posts. I can't remember arguing back and forth in recent times. I should get a glitter sticker for letting so many users get the last word.

Maybe I should create an online persona that is never wrong and is sent by God to correct people's opinions with my own (without Scripture). Im sure that would go over well.

 

[Ritajanice]

I try to keep my expectations low and do a lot of drive by posts. I can't remember arguing back and forth in recent times. I should get a glitter sticker for letting so many users get the last word.

Maybe I should create an online persona that is never wrong and is sent by God to correct people's opinions with my own (without Scripture). Im sure that would go over well.

You have the gift of self control I believe.

I believe I have surrendered to the will of God “ NOW” in that area..imo.

I used to have self control as a youngster, I had to, I wasn’t allowed to answer back, yet I burned with anger inside...that anger manifest itself in my heart...built up and built up....then boom it came out....the worm turned so to speak.

Long story short..God showed me where my anger came from and brought me to understanding it....I guess I’ve let go of it, Wynona...what good is anger to anyone...it robs us of growth.as Rita quite rightly said..thank God I’m starting to grow again and not stagnating....just my thoughts,xxx

 

[MA2444]

When a 5 year old hits the baseball and runs towards 3rd base we don't hit the kid over the head with the bat and yell out "Your an idiot! Everyone knows that your supposed to run to 1st base. You moron!" Most normal people would laugh a bit, then lovingly explain to them about which direction we run the bases. Adults, when debating on this forum, often react much less lovingly.

Online, the lack of face-to-face interaction can make it easier for individuals to forget the human impact of their words. In some cases, people may also use rudeness and condescention as a way to assert power or dominance in online interactions. These people have little power in every day life but when sheltered by the relative anonymity of the Internet, they are able to safely act aggressive and brave. After all, the person they are bereating cannot reach over and punch their lights out. They are free to be as rude and unmannerly as they want.

Just because somebody doesn’t agree with you doesn’t mean that they are inferior to you, or that they deserve to be treated unfairly. If I find myself struggling to respect their point of view, I try to consider how they may have arrived at their opinion. We should keep in mind that we may disagree on an idea, but should still value the person. Once a conversation becomes exhaustive, and we are out of breath from blowing our trumpet, maybe we should agree to disagree and move on.

Jesus said, "A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another" (John 13:34)

When Jesus commanded us to love others, He didn’t say that we had to agree with them first.

I'll buy that. Boy you sure got up on the right side of the bed today, huh? Oh. Well, yesterday as it were! You make very good points though. I'm working on this myself. Before my walk with the Lord in my youth I was almost the king of the crap talkers. So sometimes now when people get rude with me it has been able to bring the old man out in me and push them back, like they did me. Much of it is unnecessary and sometimes it can even be a misunderstanding! In these times...time is too short to mince words of truth. Some dont like the words always and can think it is an insult when it was not intended to be?
That's the thing about being online. With the web we are able to speak to people who are ahead of us on the path, and others who are behind us on the same path. Those who are behind us on the path do not yet know as much as some others and are ignorant of such things...so we (I) try not to be thin skinned, but geez, nowadays they have taught everyone to be super sensitive to offense. But I didnt like that...Well, grow a pair? The Lord says a lot of things that I dont like or dont want to agree to! Truth hurts.

So we all should make an effort to understand these things and be able to disagree while still retaining our unification with eath other and the Lord. Same God, same Spirit...Brothers & Sisters. We wrestle not against Brothers & Sisters but against the spiritual dark forces that are loose in our world.

It's not his fault, it's all that demonic oppression that he is under. Be vigilent, time is short.

 

[Wynona]

You have the gift of self control I believe.

I believe I have surrendered to the will of God “ NOW” in that area..imo.

I used to have self control as a youngster, I had to, I wasn’t allowed to answer back, yet I burned with anger inside...that anger manifest itself in my heart...built up and built up....then boom it came out....the worm turned so to speak.

Long story short..God showed me where my anger came from and brought me to understanding it....I guess I’ve let go of it, Wynona...what good is anger to anyone...it robs us of growth.as Rita quite rightly said..thank God I’m starting to grow again and not stagnating....just my thoughts,xxx

Some amazing thoughts.

Being able to honestly reflect on your own faults and learn--- its a rare jewel. Humility.

 

[Ritajanice]

I try to keep my expectations low and do a lot of drive by posts. I can't remember arguing back and forth in recent times. I should get a glitter sticker for letting so many users get the last word.

To be honest, with you not arguing back...is powerful ....you debate you don’t argue.
Imo, that’s a strength from God.

You humbled yourself...whereas I put myself on a pedestal...God Loves the humble, I’m not saying he doesn’t love me I know he does..he did not Love me , thinking I knew it all...which I don’t,he knocked me off my perch....hehehe.
What a wonderful God we serve,xx

That was something I’ve had to learn..Praise God I have...xxx

 

[Adrift]

I'll buy that. Boy you sure got up on the right side of the bed today, huh? Oh. Well, yesterday as it were! You make very good points though. I'm working on this myself. Before my walk with the Lord in my youth I was almost the king of the crap talkers. So sometimes now when people get rude with me it has been able to bring the old man out in me and push them back, like they did me. Much of it is unnecessary and sometimes it can even be a misunderstanding! In these times...time is too short to mince words of truth. Some dont like the words always and can think it is an insult when it was not intended to be?
That's the thing about being online. With the web we are able to speak to people who are ahead of us on the path, and others who are behind us on the same path. Those who are behind us on the path do not yet know as much as some others and are ignorant of such things...so we (I) try not to be thin skinned, but geez, nowadays they have taught everyone to be super sensitive to offense. But I didnt like that...Well, grow a pair? The Lord says a lot of things that I dont like or dont want to agree to! Truth hurts.

So we all should make an effort to understand these things and be able to disagree while still retaining our unification with eath other and the Lord. Same God, same Spirit...Brothers & Sisters. We wrestle not against Brothers & Sisters but against the spiritual dark forces that are loose in our world.

It's not his fault, it's all that demonic oppression that he is under. Be vigilent, time is short.

I too, have been working on being more patient with people. There are several on the forum who, obviously, just enjoy arguing. They put out the bait then pounce rudely on the first person who doesn't agree with their position. It's actually interesting theatre to watch. I try to state my point and bail out to let the arguement seekers have their fun. Sometimes, when the topic is dear to me, I'll dig in my heels and stay in the fight. I'm such a hopeless sinner!

 

[Mr E]

The Ignore feature and a couple of Guinness Stouts can be useful as well.

People at the pub behave much better than people on forums.

 

[Mr E]

Uh-oh, if you think you're starting to understand me I may have to find a new shtick!

There's probably more profundity and truth in a lot of Monty Python skits than in an awful lot of serious drama.

I've never come across a better analogy.

Forum debates----

 

[MatthewG]

When a 5 year old hits the baseball and runs towards 3rd base we don't hit the kid over the head with the bat and yell out "Your an idiot! Everyone knows that your supposed to run to 1st base. You moron!" Most normal people would laugh a bit, then lovingly explain to them about which direction we run the bases. Adults, when debating on this forum, often react much less lovingly.

Online, the lack of face-to-face interaction can make it easier for individuals to forget the human impact of their words. In some cases, people may also use rudeness and condescention as a way to assert power or dominance in online interactions. These people have little power in every day life but when sheltered by the relative anonymity of the Internet, they are able to safely act aggressive and brave. After all, the person they are bereating cannot reach over and punch their lights out. They are free to be as rude and unmannerly as they want.

Just because somebody doesn’t agree with you doesn’t mean that they are inferior to you, or that they deserve to be treated unfairly. If I find myself struggling to respect their point of view, I try to consider how they may have arrived at their opinion. We should keep in mind that we may disagree on an idea, but should still value the person. Once a conversation becomes exhaustive, and we are out of breath from blowing our trumpet, maybe we should agree to disagree and move on.

Jesus said, "A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another" (John 13:34)

When Jesus commanded us to love others, He didn’t say that we had to agree with them first.

Maturity in Christ, is an ever growing process,
If we allow God to work by the spirit on our hearts and minds. Many love to argue and debate points across the whole range of the Bible, but it’s not about loving to win an argument as ah ha! Got em. It’s about sharing truth in love, and by walking in the spirit, walking with faith in knowing the death, burial, and resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ, by the Holy Spirit of Yahavah, is the one whom is our righteousness, and makes us in right standing with Yahavah who adopts us translating us from darkness into the Kingdom of Son, which the light starts to outshine the dark which resides in our hearts when the true Light starts to take root. The darkness tends to be us bickering and fighting saying oh this guy is right or this other guy, or I myself. Which of the earthly and not abiding and being rooted in faith of having love for others and their own perspective which they may have.

 

[O'Darby]

I try to keep my expectations low and do a lot of drive by posts. I can't remember arguing back and forth in recent times. I should get a glitter sticker for letting so many users get the last word.

A very successful Christian author told me that her rule for keeping her sanity on internet forums is to say what she has to say in one post per thread and never go back - not even to look at what others have said about her post. Disabling the alert feature so you don't even see when someone quotes your post can facilitate this approach. I adopt it from time to time. Even if you post more than once, the real nastiness can generally be avoided by not quoting others or responding directly to their posts (I say as I respond directly to your post!).

Maybe I should create an online persona that is never wrong and is sent by God to correct people's opinions with my own (without Scripture). Im sure that would go over well.

Sorry, but God has already assigned that persona to O'Darby. It's going over fairly well, at least in the short term.