It's not an idol. Maybe I'm too obsessed, but it's mostly due to boredom & need of female love.
Marrying a devout Christian girl from France
- Thread starter Chrétien
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And what about the unbelievers & the people who hate Christ? Only about 55% of people in my country are Christians, not to say how many of these are only of tradition & do not actually believe in it. Not everyone are poor Disney fairies who repent their sins & cry for forgiveness. It seems to me in fact that only 2-3% are actual Christians here. And mostly old people. It's horrific how Satan has destroyed this country. The only thing I can do is fleeing from the garbage. Do you expect me to be the servant of somebody who wants to zombify me? Because I'm not Christ.
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Pathfinder7
Well-Known Member
"It seems to me in fact that only 2-3 % are actual Christians here.."
- Maybe.. It might take some time to find a devout Christian girl.
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The important/essential element about marriage is 'commitment'..
- Some posts might have mentioned this..already.
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You are 18 years old.
- You can wait..a few more years?
I understand..that you might not agree.
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From my perspective/view & experience.
- I have been married..40+years.
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More of His guidance and wisdom to you..
Blessings,
Ronald David Bruno
Well-Known Member
"Be anxious for nothing", especially a woman. What do you have to offer?
Do you have a good job? At 18, I doubt that. Get your life together first. Have you found your gifts, talents? Do you have a plan, goals?
Women like a man with a plan, one who knows what he wants to do, is in the process of equipping himself (school or trade). Basically, women are expensive. They are looking for a PROVIDER, someone like their Dad (if he was a good one). Of course, you want a Christain. Love, common interests, communication, a sense of humor are important too, but you have to have your act together. Of course you can find a girl who does'nt have anything going for herself and you both can just drift through life hoping something will happen and two years later, break up because you are both dissatisfied with life, not getting your wants or needs met. You have a list, but so do they.
Once you are on track with a plan, pray and ask God for a mate and He'll give you one. You have to be patient. First, become a good provider because that will be expected of you. Become a man.
Besides, the world is in kind of a turmoil from this pandemic - we might be getting close to the Great Tribulation - if we aren't in it already.
When you are young, it is common to think you will find happiness if you: get the perfect girl, the perfect job, have a house, a nice car, etc. But happiness is not about what is outside of you. It is a state of contentment with having lots or nothing at all. A relationship with Jesus means you are never alone and He will love you more than any person. Get closer to Him. Seek Him first and all things will come eventually.
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Helen
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- Oct 22, 2011
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Excellent wise post …hope he can hear you , but in 64 posts , I sadly doubt it
Why you all keep asking me the same questions over & over? I have talked dozens of times about this with my parents.
I never said that any of these things would make me happy. I never said that a girl would turn my life into a Disney fairy tale. But I can tell you that I will never feel happy if I remain single. My family is the only thing that makes me able to continue in life right now. If I lose it before getting married, it will be the worst hell ever in this world. I prefer dying before living decades of eternal singledom. I need a wife in my life, I'm pretty sure that women & girls are the best things existing in this planet, because they are the emotional support of men. Men can't live without a woman, and women can't live without a man, it's a reality. Very few people can actually afford eternal singledom. Even many of our priests & nuns struggle hard with celibate. So I'm not any exception in this aspect. I couldn't live alone either. Think for a bit.
I will have to eventually get a job to subsist, and with time I will start to feel tired, stressed, nervous, weak & hopeless, and will need huge emotional support. If I was married, I would have love, comfort, sex, attention, appreciation, entertainment, a clean & neat home, a homemade meal prepared for me with love & beautiful children to spend and enjoy time with, etc, in return for the bad, hard days at work. If I was single, however, I would leave work only to see a messy, bleak home full of junk & rats, barely half a loaf of bread & some disgusting ordered pizza to eat (because I have no fu idea of cooking!), nobody I can talk with, chronic boredom & dissatisfaction with life and even worse, Satan waiting for me everyday in the bed or bathroom to make me fall into ungodly sexual habits, or elsewhere to make me fall into alcoholism or substance abuse (I know those temptations also exist while married but are usually less strong & easier to deal with due to the lower levels of boredom) & will not say anything else because I'm only hurting myself. The later case is what I fear. I can't live alone. Living alone is worse than being imprisoned. I don't want to be a hermit!!! I need a wife I need a wife! I need a family! I don't want to reach my 30th birthday single! I wish to be married atleast by age 25 or 26! And breed like a rabbit!!! I can't be alone!!!!!!!!!
You are right but this doesn't mean I have to just forget about the other things. How will I find my dream girl if I do nothing but throwing all my work into luck & "whatever happens"?
Ronald David Bruno
Well-Known Member
I just read your post, no one else's. IF they are saying the same things, shouldn't that tell you something. I mean you are asking for help. Someone who asks and several adults give them the same advice and they reject it; then all they really want is for people to agree with them. You are in the know-it-all stage, a teenager that does not listen to counsel, they want to do it their own way and therefore must suffer and learn the hard way. Things I told you are some basic principles of becoming a responsible, independent adult, who has a vision and a plan to someday provide for His family. You just want to skip all the hard work and start from the top. Maybe life will just hand you happiness on a silver platter?
So you don't expect Cinderella but you expect the source of happiness to come from a girl and you are mistaken. The source of happiness comes from within and the closer you get to Christ the less you will be anxious for anything.
Nobody is talking about fairytales but you. Having happiness all handed to you without any preparation, goals, hard work is a fairytale.
Women are wonderful. But until you have had a relationhip with one for many years, you will not understand that it is not what she gives you that will make you happy, because with that mindset, you will never have enough. It is what you give to her and to others that will bring you joy. So if you are a taker and not much of a giver - you will be unhappy in life, dissatisfied, thinking the world is against you, defeated.
You must learn to be a giver and that is why I gave you that advice to get your act together first.
Right, because you are dependent on them. You need to become a man, independent, supporting yourself. Don't argue with that pal, you will lose, a thousand people will tell you that. If you are not willing to grow up, you won't find that girl of your dreams.
It sounds like you are spoiled, get what you want when you want it and if you don't, you'll just hold your breath till you die. Do you shout and scream when you can't get your way, fall down on the floor and kick? Hope not, terrible two-year olds do that.
You are at the age when you want a big change to happen, you want out but before you get out, you need someone else to lean on, depend on, because you are not ready to grow up and stand on your two feet. You depend on parenatal support and so now you must replace them but are afraid to go it alone, you are stressing about responsibility, growing up, you are wrestling with it, procrastinating. You are really using this girl thing as an excuse.
It is time for you to become a man! "But ... but ... wait ... I can't do it alone ... I need ... If only I had a girl ... then I can make it through another day, another month, another year ... that will do it for me!"
You are pissed off at me now. That is okay. I must encourage you the way that I did, but also in another way that you will agree with - just to be fair.
Women motivate men. Without them, men turn out to be sloppy and messy sometimes, less enthusiastic. They make us try to be better people, the best we can be. We want to impress them, show them and prove to them that we are what they need and we can make it happen. Agree?
My uncle never managed to get his life together. He had a job that kept him in poverty. Oh, he played baseball and fished all his life and worked just enough to get by, but meagerly. He loved to fantasize about women, gawked at them, (like every man does when a beautiful woman walks by). But he lived like a bum, dressed like one, his car and home were substandard and so He had nothing to offer a woman. But he thought his cordial, likable personality, his social skills was enough. He couldn't even afford to take girls out though and who would want to be picked up in a piece of junk by a guy who just had no class at all. It was sad. He was a good athlete, but not good enough to be pro and that was His dream that got crushed. So he just was a guy without a plan, so just did whatever cane along as he drifted through life. He fell into a job and learned aluminum siding on homes and worked for a guy who paid him low wages but even worse, was without work several months per year which kept him behind the eight ball. He was finally out in his own at age 26. Boys are stretching that to age 30 these days
He was okay with that, since it allowed him extra time to play sports and fish between jobs. But really, he lived below the poverty level. He would meet these girls in the gym. He was a socialable guy, very friendly and so appeared normal and likable. One girl was a pharmacist. My brother told him, forget about her, once she sees how you really live, particualrly your financial status, you wont have a chance with her. He would respond with, "Money is not everything, what about love?" The pharmacist couldn't fall for a guy like that - she had a list if her own qualifications which were beyond what he could provide. Let's be real, someone with a PhD wants someone with a similar education and went all through that ti be financially successful - that was her plan. My uncle didn't have one.
He was in a fantasy, thinking that a girl who worked hard to put herself through 8 years of school would settle for an uneducated low life, loser. Of course he didn't think that of himself, he had a higher sense of self esteem. That reminds if something a pyschoanalyst said in a famous book..He said, " You aren't really who you think you are, you are what others think of you. Self praise means nothing, it is the honor and praise that others give you that are meaningful and if any value.
There was another girl he had a relationship with _as friends _ only inside the gym, because that was His buffer zone. He was liked by everyone inside, be accepted in this environment. He had the edge over all the other guys, physically as an athlete, so He figured that was his forte that He used. This is what he felt proud of. It is good to be in shape - but was that enough to fulfull a woman's needs? Nope.
The end of a sad story is he is that now at 72, a hermit, he never had a real loving and fruitful relationship with a woman. No kids to father. Why? He never really grew up. He did support himself, but that was all he could manage. He never learned how to be a giver, thought happiness could be just handed to him. There is something good to say about him. He believes in Christ.
So you think married couples don't get tired, weak, stressed, or experience feelings if hopelessness? You think this woman (wonder women),wil be strong enough for both of you to make it. You are suppose to be the alpha, the strong one in the relationship, your wife leans on your strength abilities. He hope is reinforced because YOU have a plan and have your act together ... unless you find a foolish pharmacist whom is willing to just wait around for years to watch a boy slowly turn into a man?2
You see yourself as a lazy, messy person. You have not learned nor have been taught to be responsible, to clean the house, keep things organized. You can and you will have to unless you want to turn out like my uncle.
Satan does tempt us. The ones who are spoiled and do not learn responsibility, how to organjze, how to set goals and make a plan to achieve them, end up as you say. It is not because they don't have a woman..LOOK AT ALL THOSE IN POVERTY WHO ARE MARRIED - WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM? Why didn't the woman solve all their problems?
Why don't you ask a bunch of married women what they look for in a man?
Then ask how many young girls your age would be willing to take a chance with a boy, totally dependent on Mommy and Daddy, who has no aspirations, plans, isn't going to school, learning a trade, doesn't have a good job, and who is expecting that she will magically turn his life around, motivate him and lift him out of his negative funk?
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Yes, it's sadly true that I'm too immature & have to grow up, but it's mainly due to the way I was raised. After a lifetime of whims whims whims all play & no work mario kart pokemon gta san andreas call of duty disney cartoon network skrillex z***nist international inc it's hard to man up, but I should do because I'm a man & I should be such. I shouldn't listen Shatan Goldbergsteinmann anymore. I should be a good provider. Yet I have a question. How can I start? You keep yelling on me "GET A JOB" "GET SOMETHING TO OFFER" "BE INDEPENDENT" "BE ORGANIZED" "BE A GIVER" "DO ABCXYZ" but you will never tell me how to start, where to start, what to do, what not to do, how to do this or that, etc. You just talk & talk as if getting a job, offering or being independent was like pressing a button. You seem to expect me to magically do the math without even giving me the data. You will only make me more confused about what I want or should do this way.
And the other question is, what if I successfully do all this & become a man but don't manage to find a suitable girl nevertheless? Because having a good stable excellent paid job, an infinity of honours, a tower of money, being super independent self-reliant & organized, having plenty of plans & goals does NOT mean I will have the girl of my dreams waiting me right on the street corner. What if no girls like me because of my demands or beliefs? What if all the girls I have chance with are ungodly, feminist, promiscuous, not religious, selfish, or just not worthy of marriage? How do I know that this one girl really loves me with her heart & not only because of my status? How can I know that I will not kill myself for nothing? Getting a girl of God will be extremely hard regardless of how good provider I am simply because of its huge lack of supply. I can achieve everything you have stated in your posts but never find the right girl & be the single depressed hermit I would be if I didn't man up for the rest of my life anyway. There are successful, masculine men that can't get a girlfriend regardless of all their efforts & remain single forever. What if I'm predestined to eternal singledom without me being able to do anything about it? I'm terrified that my effort will be in vain!
And the other question is, what if I successfully do all this & become a man but don't manage to find a suitable girl nevertheless? Because having a good stable excellent paid job, an infinity of honours, a tower of money, being super independent self-reliant & organized, having plenty of plans & goals does NOT mean I will have the girl of my dreams waiting me right on the street corner. What if no girls like me because of my demands or beliefs? What if all the girls I have chance with are ungodly, feminist, promiscuous, not religious, selfish, or just not worthy of marriage? How do I know that this one girl really loves me with her heart & not only because of my status? How can I know that I will not kill myself for nothing? Getting a girl of God will be extremely hard regardless of how good provider I am simply because of its huge lack of supply. I can achieve everything you have stated in your posts but never find the right girl & be the single depressed hermit I would be if I didn't man up for the rest of my life anyway. There are successful, masculine men that can't get a girlfriend regardless of all their efforts & remain single forever. What if I'm predestined to eternal singledom without me being able to do anything about it? I'm terrified that my effort will be in vain!
Ronald David Bruno
Well-Known Member
What you said right there is an admission of fault. That is a start. One must be able to see who they are, what they lack, in order to want to change. So you are not in denial.
Do you realize that some people go through life in denial of who they really are, never admitting faults or sin and always blaming someone else for their unhappiness?
Watch the movie, "What About Bob?" Starring Bill Muray and Richard Dreyfuss.
Bob is older of course but he has phobias, he is afraid to even go outside. His doctor tells him to read his book, "Baby Steps". One step at a time.
>>> Your problem is you are piling your whole future's failures ( that don't exist), problems (that can only be solved when they happen and one at a time) and that is overwhelming to you. This is what Bob did. He started thinking about everything that could go wrong, creating and magnifying fear.
The only thing you should be afraid of is fear itself, it is crippling and many people are in fear of life. They find excuses not to do something, because they fear the worst will happen.
If you really believe in Jesus, then who can be against you? If your life is in His hands, why are you afraid? Fear is the opposite of faith. Faith is the hope of things unseen and the certainty and confidence that God will provide for your needs. Do you really trust God? It seems like you don't. It seems like you think your God doesn't have good things planned for you.
"GOD CAUSES ALL THINGS TO WORK FOR GOOD FOR THOSE WHO LOVE HIM, FOR THOSE WHO ARE CALLED TO HIS PURPOSE." ROM. 8:28
READ THAT EVERYDAY, MEMORIZE IT.
Now, go and read the Sermon on the Mount at least once a week. That Sermon is capable of removing depression.
God is for us ... who can be against us.
Baby steps. TAKE ONE STEP AT A TIME AND _ ONLY_ ONE _ DAY _ AT _ A _ TIME.
Don't think and worry about tomorrow. Today has enough for you to think about.
Now as for what you want to do with your life. You must find your gifts and talents. What were you drawn to besides playing video games? What were your interests?
You must have thought of some occupation that you would like to do. If you are just blank about that, maybe you can take some tests and see what you score high in? What was your best subject in school? Develop your strengths.
There are ways to find your strengths if you don't know them. If it was math, go into a field that requires good math skills. You don't clean house, so you probably won't be cleaning. But maybe you should start with a job like that. That way you'll clean your own when you finally get one.
There used to be an ad on TV when I was growing up: BE ALL YOU CAN BE, READ!
It's true, you can do anything you want if you put your mind to it. Nothing happens overnight. Do you think Thomas Edison invented the light bulb in one try? Every success in life struggles through failures before it finds itself. Really those inventors failed hundreds of times before they got it. Life is filled with failures and we learn from them. Don't be afraid of them. Take them one at a time, learn not to repeat them and move on.
So, back to the drawing board. Finding something you could enjoy is not easy. 8 out of 10 people do jobs for the paycheck and don't really love their jobs. Why? Because they didn't make a plan. They didn't find their passion in life. There is something that when you find It, you love doing it. But before you find what you like and learn It, get educated, certificates or degrees, you'll have to do jobs you don't like - just to get started on being a man. Work and do your best at what the job calls for.
Keep in mind, God is watching you and He has a plan for your life. You are trying to find out what it is that He has planned, and He will let you know, but you have to show Him you are serious and are trusting Him.
Get up every morning and start your day with a prayer. "Father, thank you for your Grace and love. Guide me to become a man after your heart. Increase my faith, I do not want to fear life. Help me to embrace the challenges of life. I known that you will be with me every step of the way." Somthing like that. You could also add "Lord, protect me from the enemy who is trying to discourage me. Help me to think good thoughts and be positve. Direct me to a job and as I cooperate with your plan please _ in due time _ when I am ready _ send me my mate!"
Remember don't worry about tomorrow. Don't pile your whole life on your shoulders. Take all that junk off your back. One thing at a time, one day at a time.
Remember all these things you fear don't exist. The only thing that exists is the moment. Seize the Day. Enjoy and love in the moment, that is how we experience God.
You do not need to know about tomorrow - unless you have to be at work tomorrow.
When you are ready, God will send you a mate and He will let you know. You are on a need to know basis in life.
What About Bob?
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TheslightestID
Active Member
Actually, I did ask you what your plans were, to go right to work or further your education? I got no answer. But either way, its not up to us to work those things out for you, its completely up to you. If you'd can the attitude for just a few seconds, I'm sure some would be happy to answer any questions on getting work, or to at least talk to you about those things.
Humble up, dude.
TheslightestID
Active Member
Ronald David Bruno
Well-Known Member
One other very important source of guidance that I should have mentioned in the beginning is your parents. That is your primary support system that God has given you. He will guide you through them. He speaks to you through them. The problem with teenagers is they don't listen to their parents. They know who you are, known your strengths and weaknesses and have probably advised you over and over and you just rebel against or resist doing what they tell you. And that is being disobedient, not just to your parents, but to God as well. Trust them. Sit down with them and ask them to tell you the truth. What are my strengths? Tell them you want to start taking steps towards finding an occupation - and are willing to work any job until you can get training or schooling on your target job. They will be extremely excited and helpful. Thank them and honor them by DOING WHAT THEY TELL YOU TO DO. You don't know what to do, so you might as well take your parents advice ( who love you and are looking after your best interests).
Then go down the list of occupations that require those abilities and pick one, learn it, work at at. Maybe you will like it, maybe you won't, but at least you are trying something. Often, one job leads you to another.
You need to meet people, socialize and never turn down an invitation. Go, be open to opportunities, don't be negative. You have to get out there and meet people - otherwise you won't meet that girl. She will never show up at your doorstep. I was shy when I was young and past up many opportunities.
>>> Put the stupid cell phone down and get off the computer, get out and live a little.
The second support system is your church. You say you are a Christian - you better be attending a church regularly. Talk to your Pastor. The elders will come alongside you and help. Get involved in Church activities. You are so stuck on yourself: me, me, me, I, I, I. Someone very clever said that sin is when you remove the "S" and the "N", you get "I".
That leads me to share with you advice that came from a famous psychoanalyst, Dr. Scott Peck. He was asked the question: "If you were so stuck in the state of depression _ so terribly _ that you could not escape it _ when even the thoughts of suicide seemed plausible _ what would you do?
He said, " I would go out and help someone, then when I was finished with that person, I would go find someone else and help them!" Depression happens when you focus too much on yourself. You have to get off yourself. By helping someone else, the focus is no longer on you and the depression fades away. The Sermon on the Mount is a good depression killer too.
Of course you will be focusing on a job of some kind and will be spending much time with that. But don't be alone anymore, don't isolate yourself, go out an engage, get involved. Devote sometime to help someone else, that may lead you to a job and a mate and the end of your dilemma. Heck, start with your parents, help them out. Wouldn't they be thrilled if one day they came home, the house was vacuumed, laundry done, dishes cleaned and dinner was on the table?
What a concept, working and helping to alleviate depression.
Then go down the list of occupations that require those abilities and pick one, learn it, work at at. Maybe you will like it, maybe you won't, but at least you are trying something. Often, one job leads you to another.
You need to meet people, socialize and never turn down an invitation. Go, be open to opportunities, don't be negative. You have to get out there and meet people - otherwise you won't meet that girl. She will never show up at your doorstep. I was shy when I was young and past up many opportunities.
>>> Put the stupid cell phone down and get off the computer, get out and live a little.
The second support system is your church. You say you are a Christian - you better be attending a church regularly. Talk to your Pastor. The elders will come alongside you and help. Get involved in Church activities. You are so stuck on yourself: me, me, me, I, I, I. Someone very clever said that sin is when you remove the "S" and the "N", you get "I".
That leads me to share with you advice that came from a famous psychoanalyst, Dr. Scott Peck. He was asked the question: "If you were so stuck in the state of depression _ so terribly _ that you could not escape it _ when even the thoughts of suicide seemed plausible _ what would you do?
He said, " I would go out and help someone, then when I was finished with that person, I would go find someone else and help them!" Depression happens when you focus too much on yourself. You have to get off yourself. By helping someone else, the focus is no longer on you and the depression fades away. The Sermon on the Mount is a good depression killer too.
Of course you will be focusing on a job of some kind and will be spending much time with that. But don't be alone anymore, don't isolate yourself, go out an engage, get involved. Devote sometime to help someone else, that may lead you to a job and a mate and the end of your dilemma. Heck, start with your parents, help them out. Wouldn't they be thrilled if one day they came home, the house was vacuumed, laundry done, dishes cleaned and dinner was on the table?
What a concept, working and helping to alleviate depression.
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Meet, socialize with WHAT people? I have NEVER in my life met a Christian person my age, NEVER. All the ones I know are unbelievers, or believe in other religions. And anyone who is not a Christian is my enemy, I will not attack them but will not offer anything to them either. They're like dust for me. The only Christians here seem to be all elderly. You'd say I could help them but, how would I meet the girl of my life this way? I have to search in the youth, otherwise I will never find her. The problem is that there seems to be no one here in France. I'm pretty sure there are in fact more young Muslims than young Christians here. But you will not know this because you live in USA, which is (according to statistics) way more religious than France. You will not know what's living in a country where 80% of the native youth are convinced atheists & the other 20% are cultural "Christians" who believe they are such because they are baptized but would marry a Muslim & have a Buddha at home. And a """Christian""" girl that says she's Christian out of fear that her parents will find out about her secret atheism, who lost her virginity at 13 with the bad Muslim boy of her classroom & uses God as a swearword is the same piece of dust than her openly atheist friend. It seems to me that finding a young devout Christian here is harder than finding a desert, not to tell a virgin. All the youth here seems to hate Christianity or something. There is nothing good here, only perverts. 12 year old boys drinking & smoking weed like freaks & all the girls kissing their feet, it's insane. 14 year old girls undergoing abortions because they couldn't wait to sleep with the bad tattooed rap boy that made them crazy. I have heard of youths that said they were Christian behaving this way. Colleges are literal brothels, it's impossible to find there a girl that has never done a fellation. Even the engaged ones fall sooner or later due to the bad horny boys conquering them or getting them drunk. And cheating is a pastime here, thanks to our perverted sex culture along with Facebook WhatsApp & Netflix no marriage is saving here from extramarital flings & affairs, both from men & women. In fact the women are worse cheaters than ever. This country hates Christianity. Just look at what they did to our Notre Dame, they don't even respect our buildings anymore! It's hopeless, I'm likely going to be single forever, there are no Christian girls here in France, only free prostitutes. My effort will worth nothing. I will become a man to find out that there is no reward. Only perverts & prostitutes. I'm trying to abstain from onanism & save myself for marriage, only to find out that the girls around me have already slept with their 20th partner by my age. This is Sodom, but you as an American will never understand this ;( ... please tell me I'm not predestined to eternal singledom, I don't want to be the depressed hermit eating 5 pizzas a week & taking drugs every 3 hours!!!
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Ronald David Bruno
Well-Known Member
Ronald David Bruno
Well-Known Member
This is not the heart of a Christian. We are to be salt and light in darkness. You are not offering light - don't believe you have any! Sorry, you are so negative about people but fail to look at yourself. Your words demonstrate hate and condemnation. With an attitude like this, "the whole country is evil ... no real Christians" (as you invalidate all), your future will ne grim.
There is a principle in life that will determine what you will get out of life: "What you sow is what you reap." What you have to give the world is exactly what you will get back. If it is hate. condemnation, contempt, distrust, then that is what you will get back. You give nothing, you'll get nothing.
I don't get a sense that you know what love is. Yet you want to receive it. Try giving some out, otherwise you will end up, empty.
You are judging everyone but where is your fruit? Kindness, joy, peace, faith, patience, love, goodness, hope, self control? These are the qualities that Christians demonstrate.
You believe in Christ but don't do what He tells you to do, love your neighbor. Love everyone regardless of who they are or what you think they believe.
Honestly I do not think you have been well churches. Are you born again?
You need to find a good church, take a bus if you have to. You need parental counseling, church counseling, counseling by the Holy Spirit. You have a rebellious spirit of contempt against the world.
There are those who do such things, but not all, you can't paint a RED X on everyone out there. If you continue with that attitude, guess what? The world will give you a RED X and just discard you out with the trash.
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Ronald David Bruno
Well-Known Member
Chretien,
The world has evil in it, but there is also good. You can find good in people. To see the whole world around you as evil and that you are good is somewhat problematic.
We are all sinners, nobody is perfect. I can understand about being an introvert, closed off to everyone, having feelings that you aren't liked or accepted, not being invited to parties and not having friends. In time you build this defense mechanism, reasons why you are alone and you accuse the world of being at fault. These criticisms of the world pile up to the point where everyone is evil, tarnished, corrupt, so "there is no one left for me." A person may be truly convinced of a belief that is not shared by others, not realistic and even the most logical argument cannot change his mind. You seem to switch your Red X marker on auto, eliminating everyone. Is that really fair?
I do realize France is not the same country as it once was. I was there in 1981 and again in 1986, Paris was wonderful, the most visited city in Europe. France has been infiltrated by Muslims - the government, as with many others in Europe, invited them in. That was a mistake!. And the world is corrupt and on the verge of judgement. So much of this is evil is not imaginary, it is there, but so is good. If you were in North Sudan, then I would not be saying any of this, I would be telling you to get out, flee.
I believe we are in the Great Tribulation or what is referred to as the "beginning of sorrows." (Matt. 24) If this is true, you probably won't be finding that girl, nor will there be enough time for you to get your act together. But we need to occupy until He comes. Catholics have a much different view about the end times - but that is another topic.
But don't worry about tomorrow, just prepare for it and live in the moment, enjoy life and learn to love others. Say hi, smile, talk to them, open up, FIND A CHURCH. Look around you. Millions of people are married and there are millions of couples planning to get married. Churches are filled with couples - don't tell me there aren't any available Christians your age. Judge not lest You be judged. Don't try to remove the speck out of your brother's or sister's eye, until you remove the log out of your own. You have built all these defence mechanisms (criticisms about how everyone is evil to justify why you are alone). You are a virgin, not because you are any better than anyone out there, its because you probably never had a girlfriend and been tempted with that opportunity. But you use that to separate yourself as if you are pure and godly.
Get off your imaginary plateau, you are no better than anyone else. Truly you need to repent, ask God for forgiveness. Ask Him for His Spirit, His Love, His guidance, patience, kindness, hope, faith, joy, goodness. Ask Him to remove these ill feelings of contempt against the world - well, not all of them. Some are valid. We all hate sin, but we all have it. We are supposed to hate sin but love the sinner. There is no perfect girl and you are not perfect. You are no way close to being able to love a girl if one came along - you need work. Faith without works is dead. God needs to do some work with you first.
The world has evil in it, but there is also good. You can find good in people. To see the whole world around you as evil and that you are good is somewhat problematic.
We are all sinners, nobody is perfect. I can understand about being an introvert, closed off to everyone, having feelings that you aren't liked or accepted, not being invited to parties and not having friends. In time you build this defense mechanism, reasons why you are alone and you accuse the world of being at fault. These criticisms of the world pile up to the point where everyone is evil, tarnished, corrupt, so "there is no one left for me." A person may be truly convinced of a belief that is not shared by others, not realistic and even the most logical argument cannot change his mind. You seem to switch your Red X marker on auto, eliminating everyone. Is that really fair?
I do realize France is not the same country as it once was. I was there in 1981 and again in 1986, Paris was wonderful, the most visited city in Europe. France has been infiltrated by Muslims - the government, as with many others in Europe, invited them in. That was a mistake!. And the world is corrupt and on the verge of judgement. So much of this is evil is not imaginary, it is there, but so is good. If you were in North Sudan, then I would not be saying any of this, I would be telling you to get out, flee.
I believe we are in the Great Tribulation or what is referred to as the "beginning of sorrows." (Matt. 24) If this is true, you probably won't be finding that girl, nor will there be enough time for you to get your act together. But we need to occupy until He comes. Catholics have a much different view about the end times - but that is another topic.
But don't worry about tomorrow, just prepare for it and live in the moment, enjoy life and learn to love others. Say hi, smile, talk to them, open up, FIND A CHURCH. Look around you. Millions of people are married and there are millions of couples planning to get married. Churches are filled with couples - don't tell me there aren't any available Christians your age. Judge not lest You be judged. Don't try to remove the speck out of your brother's or sister's eye, until you remove the log out of your own. You have built all these defence mechanisms (criticisms about how everyone is evil to justify why you are alone). You are a virgin, not because you are any better than anyone out there, its because you probably never had a girlfriend and been tempted with that opportunity. But you use that to separate yourself as if you are pure and godly.
Get off your imaginary plateau, you are no better than anyone else. Truly you need to repent, ask God for forgiveness. Ask Him for His Spirit, His Love, His guidance, patience, kindness, hope, faith, joy, goodness. Ask Him to remove these ill feelings of contempt against the world - well, not all of them. Some are valid. We all hate sin, but we all have it. We are supposed to hate sin but love the sinner. There is no perfect girl and you are not perfect. You are no way close to being able to love a girl if one came along - you need work. Faith without works is dead. God needs to do some work with you first.
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Scriptural advice would be to:
Ignore, mans established you're an adult 18, get to getting OF the world.
* Grasp Gods advice of "maturity"...open ears, hear, read, "study" His Word with utmost sincerity and diligence...
* Ask God Himself for His Understanding of His Word...i.e. Gain of Gods Wisdom.
* Prepare you a place 'in preparation' to receive a Bride...financially, accountable to properly maintain.
* Highly Consider avoiding DEBTS.
* STOP searching for what you think you desire..i.e.French.
* Prepare yourself spiritually, to be a Spiritual head of household, and establish a Spiritual home.
* Don't worry about what is NOT available or suitable.
* Then pray the Lord God will put in your path a Bride suitable for you.
Glory to God,
Taken
Waiting on him
Well-Known Member
Who can find a virtuous woman?
If only this young man could see, there is only one and this can only be the Holy Spirit.
if and when he finds her, she’ll praise her husband with in the gates within him.
I never said I was perfect. Far from that. I do sometimes think that God hates me without knowing the reason. Maybe God has punished me for my hardcore atheistic, anti-religious past. Not quite a long time ago I was a fiendish, hateful ogre who spent the day listening to death metal & playing violent games all the time. But I'm not much better today either. Onanism is ruining my relationship with God, & I can hardly resist it. I keep abusing my flesh again & again every morning & I can't stop it, it's an addiction. I spend entire nights hugging my pillow as if it was my dreams girl, sometimes even in a sexual way. The same goes for this. I repent & pray to God everytime I misuse my body but it seems I can never stop regardless of how much I want to abstain from it, it's almost automatic. It's worse than a drug. I just have to touch something with my parts to fall into the temptation. I'm feeling more & more frustrated every day, sometimes thinking God has just gave up on me & does no longer trust me, or even that God has made me this way in order to bring my soul eternal torture & pain. I'm starting to think some people go to hell by predestination & can't do anything about it, and I'm worried I may be one of them.
I can tell you, on the other hand, that I have NEVER heard of a devout Christian my age, I'm not lying. The closest thing to a Christian girl I found was a girl from school I saw a few times who usually wore a cross & had a photo of the Virgin Mary in her phone. She didn't go to church or read the Bible though. But the main problem is that she wasn't a native French. She was from Martinique & was mixed race. And sorry but I don't want a wife (or girlfriend) of another race, no matter how Christian she is, neither do I want mixed children, it's too gross for me! I only want white, native French girls. I never in fact liked non-white people. Not because I believed my race was the master race or such things, I simply found other races unattractive. Also, that particular girl seemed quite extroverted & had lots of friends. Very probably a boyfriend as well. And I hate such type of girls! I like shy, introverted girls like me. The girls with barely any friends, who will take a long time to trust me. They are the best. They are the most loving. They are the most chaste. They are the most selfless. They make the best wives!
This said, the final question is, how can I find a white, devout Christian French girl? I'm not willing to try out with the secular girls. And I'm not willing to meet girls of another race, either.
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