Why you all keep asking me the same questions over & over
I just read your post, no one else's. IF they are saying the same things, shouldn't that tell you something. I mean you are asking for help. Someone who asks and several adults give them the same advice and they reject it; then all they really want is for people to agree with them. You are in the know-it-all stage, a teenager that does not listen to counsel, they want to do it their own way and therefore must suffer and learn the hard way. Things I told you are some basic principles of becoming a responsible, independent adult, who has a vision and a plan to someday provide for His family. You just want to skip all the hard work and start from the top. Maybe life will just hand you happiness on a silver platter?
. I never said that a girl would turn my life into a Disney fairy tale. But I can tell you that I will never feel happy if I remain single.
So you don't expect Cinderella but you expect the source of happiness to come from a girl and you are mistaken. The source of happiness comes from within and the closer you get to Christ the less you will be anxious for anything.
Nobody is talking about fairytales but you. Having happiness all handed to you without any preparation, goals, hard work is a fairytale.
Women are wonderful. But until you have had a relationhip with one for many years, you will not understand that it is not what she gives you that will make you happy, because with that mindset, you will never have enough. It is what you give to her and to others that will bring you joy. So if you are a taker and not much of a giver - you will be unhappy in life, dissatisfied, thinking the world is against you, defeated.
You must learn to be a giver and that is why I gave you that advice to get your act together first.
My family is the only thing that makes me able to continue in life right now
Right, because you are dependent on them. You need to become a man, independent, supporting yourself. Don't argue with that pal, you will lose, a thousand people will tell you that. If you are not willing to grow up, you won't find that girl of your dreams.
I prefer dying before living decades of eternal singledom.
It sounds like you are spoiled, get what you want when you want it and if you don't, you'll just hold your breath till you die. Do you shout and scream when you can't get your way, fall down on the floor and kick? Hope not, terrible two-year olds do that.
You are at the age when you want a big change to happen, you want out but before you get out, you need someone else to lean on, depend on, because you are not ready to grow up and stand on your two feet. You depend on parenatal support and so now you must replace them but are afraid to go it alone, you are stressing about responsibility, growing up, you are wrestling with it, procrastinating. You are really using this girl thing as an excuse.
It is time for you to become a man! "But ... but ... wait ... I can't do it alone ... I need ... If only I had a girl ... then I can make it through another day, another month, another year ... that will do it for me!"
You are pissed off at me now. That is okay. I must encourage you the way that I did, but also in another way that you will agree with - just to be fair.
Women motivate men. Without them, men turn out to be sloppy and messy sometimes, less enthusiastic. They make us try to be better people, the best we can be. We want to impress them, show them and prove to them that we are what they need and we can make it happen. Agree?
My uncle never managed to get his life together. He had a job that kept him in poverty. Oh, he played baseball and fished all his life and worked just enough to get by, but meagerly. He loved to fantasize about women, gawked at them, (like every man does when a beautiful woman walks by). But he lived like a bum, dressed like one, his car and home were substandard and so He had nothing to offer a woman. But he thought his cordial, likable personality, his social skills was enough. He couldn't even afford to take girls out though and who would want to be picked up in a piece of junk by a guy who just had no class at all. It was sad. He was a good athlete, but not good enough to be pro and that was His dream that got crushed. So he just was a guy without a plan, so just did whatever cane along as he drifted through life. He fell into a job and learned aluminum siding on homes and worked for a guy who paid him low wages but even worse, was without work several months per year which kept him behind the eight ball. He was finally out in his own at age 26. Boys are stretching that to age 30 these days
He was okay with that, since it allowed him extra time to play sports and fish between jobs. But really, he lived below the poverty level. He would meet these girls in the gym. He was a socialable guy, very friendly and so appeared normal and likable. One girl was a pharmacist. My brother told him, forget about her, once she sees how you really live, particualrly your financial status, you wont have a chance with her. He would respond with, "Money is not everything, what about love?" The pharmacist couldn't fall for a guy like that - she had a list if her own qualifications which were beyond what he could provide. Let's be real, someone with a PhD wants someone with a similar education and went all through that ti be financially successful - that was her plan. My uncle didn't have one.
He was in a fantasy, thinking that a girl who worked hard to put herself through 8 years of school would settle for an uneducated low life, loser. Of course he didn't think that of himself, he had a higher sense of self esteem. That reminds if something a pyschoanalyst said in a famous book..He said, " You aren't really who you think you are, you are what others think of you. Self praise means nothing, it is the honor and praise that others give you that are meaningful and if any value.
There was another girl he had a relationship with _as friends _ only inside the gym, because that was His buffer zone. He was liked by everyone inside, be accepted in this environment. He had the edge over all the other guys, physically as an athlete, so He figured that was his forte that He used. This is what he felt proud of. It is good to be in shape - but was that enough to fulfull a woman's needs? Nope.
The end of a sad story is he is that now at 72, a hermit, he never had a real loving and fruitful relationship with a woman. No kids to father. Why? He never really grew up. He did support himself, but that was all he could manage. He never learned how to be a giver, thought happiness could be just handed to him. There is something good to say about him. He believes in Christ.
I will have to eventually get a job to subsist, and with time I will start to feel tired, stressed, nervous, weak & hopeless, and will need huge emotional support. If I was married, I would have love, comfort, sex, attention, appreciation, entertainment, a clean & neat home, a homemade meal prepared for me with love & beautiful children to spend and enjoy time with, etc, in return for the bad, hard days at work
So you think married couples don't get tired, weak, stressed, or experience feelings if hopelessness? You think this woman (wonder women),wil be strong enough for both of you to make it. You are suppose to be the alpha, the strong one in the relationship, your wife leans on your strength abilities. He hope is reinforced because YOU have a plan and have your act together ... unless you find a foolish pharmacist whom is willing to just wait around for years to watch a boy slowly turn into a man?2
If I was single, however, I would leave work only to see a messy, bleak home full of junk & rats, barely half a loaf of bread & some disgusting ordered pizza to eat (because I have no fu idea of cooking!), nobody I can talk with, chronic boredom & dissatisfaction with life and even worse, Satan waiting for me everyday in the bed or bathroom to make me fall into ungodly sexual habits, or elsewhere to make me fall into alcoholism or substance abuse (I know those temptations also exist while married but are usually less strong & easier to deal with due to the lower levels of boredom) & will not say anything else because I'm only hurting myself.
You see yourself as a lazy, messy person. You have not learned nor have been taught to be responsible, to clean the house, keep things organized. You can and you will have to unless you want to turn out like my uncle.
Satan does tempt us. The ones who are spoiled and do not learn responsibility, how to organjze, how to set goals and make a plan to achieve them, end up as you say. It is not because they don't have a woman..LOOK AT ALL THOSE IN POVERTY WHO ARE MARRIED - WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM? Why didn't the woman solve all their problems?
Why don't you ask a bunch of married women what they look for in a man?
Then ask how many young girls your age would be willing to take a chance with a boy, totally dependent on Mommy and Daddy, who has no aspirations, plans, isn't going to school, learning a trade, doesn't have a good job, and who is expecting that she will magically turn his life around, motivate him and lift him out of his negative funk?