My brother is a Pastor

[jshiii]

and he is way righttttttt winged....and I have found he is really become very judgemental....how can I help him? I prayed when I was a child that our Lord would lead him into a ministry...the prayer was answered but, I'm worried now that he is unhappy in the ministry. Seems he feels obligated to play that perfectionist, as if he is trapped being the good samaritan. His church loves him and I do feel he is changing lives for Jesus....except for him being so judgemental of me and my girlfriend?

 

[Prizm]

How is he acting or what is he saying that is contrary to the Bible?

 

[Follower]

It's getting tough to be a pastor today. Most Christians have worldly values so if their pastor upholds biblical standards, he'll see half his congregation walk out the door. This is the biggest reason why Sunday Sermons have become nothing but mushy platitudes for the lowest-common denominator - or even worse, feel-good lies to stroke the egos of the congregation. The irony is, this is probably a major factor with people walking away from the church (in the last couple of decades, the percent of Americans who don't go to church has doubled). A church without standards is irrelevant.

 

[jshiii]

Prizm....my brother critisizes me for every little thing...whether its wine at dinner, gf and I go out dancing, my gf wearing a sexy black cocktail dress..(still on the conservative side though), he gets on me if i miss church on sunday, I actually also think hes jealous that im 39 and dating a 27 yr old. See, in the past I used to smoke, used to drink beer, had a failed marriage, etc etc...He loves taking "shots" at me every chance he gets...my gf just says he is jealous cos he cannot be as liberal as I am because of his position in the church...but still, he should not judge me based on my past...and it's not my faught that he and his wife have to be so prim n proper...I guess it is tough being a pastor...so much responsibility.

 

[Follower]

(jshiii;63266)
Prizm....my brother critisizes me for every little thing...whether its wine at dinner, gf and I go out dancing, my gf wearing a sexy black cocktail dress..(still on the conservative side though), he gets on me if i miss church on sunday, I actually also think hes jealous that im 39 and dating a 27 yr old. See, in the past I used to smoke, used to drink beer, had a failed marriage, etc etc...He loves taking "shots" at me every chance he gets...my gf just says he is jealous cos he cannot be as liberal as I am because of his position in the church...but still, he should not judge me based on my past...and it's not my faught that he and his wife have to be so prim n proper...I guess it is tough being a pastor...so much responsibility.
You're 39 and you use words like "im", "cos", and "gf". If you hadn't indicated your age and sex, I would have thought you were a teenage girl. My guess is that he's your brother so he wants to help guide you and he sees you acting like a kid.

 

[jshiii]

(Follower;63274)
You're 39 and you use words like "im", "cos", and "gf". If you hadn't indicated your age and sex, I would have thought you were a teenage girl. My guess is that he's your brother so he wants to help guide you and he sees you acting like a kid.
im, cos, and gf....sorry its saturday morning, well afternoon now...I'm lazy today so just fill in the shorthand please...thks. No..my brother is just like our dad...always critisizing...Myself...I choose to look for positive things in everyone and I'm not here to judge. God can do that.....even through his Word. I guess I need to stand up to my brother next time....and honestly, Can't remember the last time he said something positive toward me. Sounds like a family problem...I want involve this forum anymore with those details.

 

[ffbruce]

jshiii ~Because I'm a pastor, your posts and situation intrigue me. On one hand, it sounds like your brother could be a pretty narrow-minded, self-righteous twit.On the other hand, it sounds like you might be acting like a horny teenager - living it up after a failed marriage.So I don't know. You've only indicated that you feel he's being judgmental toward you, but it's possible that you're doing things he should be concerned about.

 

[jshiii]

Hes way right fundamentalist...maybe his perspective is I'm living it up....but I am not living it up...I'm growing with a wonderful Christian woman. Living it up days are over...I left God kinda sorta like Jacob left him for a few years when he wrestled him at that river....however, I'm back at the river and I have found God is still waiting there where we last left off.

 

[ffbruce]

(jshiii;63286)
Hes way right fundamentalist...maybe his perspective is I'm living it up....but I am not living it up...I'm growing with a wonderful Christian woman. Living it up days are over...I left God kinda sorta like Jacob left him for a few years when he wrestled him at that river....however, I'm back at the river and I have found God is still waiting there where we last left off.
Okay. Gotcha. Thanks.Some churches are pretty harsh, even though what they are saying may be technically correct - or just think they're right. For instance, I've run across some people who honestly believe that all homosexuals ought to be rounded up and executed. I'd venture a guess that you need to seriously consider your own life, in light of God's grace in Christ, and make sure that your walk is one of purity and faith. If you are on track, and doing what is right, you may have to confront your brother and ask him to back off.

 

[Prizm]

When was the last time you prayed a prayer of repentance? ie Got saved? How has God changed you since then? If you've recently come back to Christ, then your brother is probably trying to look out for you. How does your current life match up with how a Christian should act? You mentioned drinking. You mentioned dancing (does that mean clubbing?). You mentioned being liberal. For the most part, liberal in a Christian sense means doing things that many Christians would feel were not up to a Biblical standard. Or perhaps a case of living by the letter of the law, and not the spirit - eg, "well, the Bible doesn't specifically say I can't do this".Was your girlfriend going to your church before you met her? What are others' perspective of her in your church? What is your conduct like with her?Your brother sounds worried about your Christian walk at the moment. As ffbruce mentioned, you may want to take a look at your current walk with God. If you desire a better relationship with Christ and see Him working more in your life, then you'll have to up the bar. Pastors do have to set a higher example, however it's not a whole lot higher than all Christians should be striving for.

 

[Sasha]

(jshiii;63275)
No..my brother is just like our dad...always critisizing...Myself...I choose to look for positive things in everyone and I'm not here to judge.
Sounds to me like you already have your answer. Everyone is scarred by their parents. Most parents do the best they can to raise their children proper. But, your dad was scarred by his parents growing up as a child also. You said here that your dad always criticized. Well, it is no wonder that you and your brother would turn out the same way, after all your dad was the #1 male role model in your lives. You said you choose to look for positive things in others, you are choosing NOT to follow that example your dad set. That's wonderful, however, your brother may not even realized how hard he has been on you. You could bind the (demonic) critical spirit from opperating against you through your brother, in the name of Jesus Christ. God has given us authority over satan and all his power. (demons)