I have never felt God's Spirit in church leaders or service members. Everyone seems content with a worldly spirit. After reading the Bible, I confirmed my concerns. To me, Western Christianity is a sect of book scribes focused on ideology, interpretations, and decoding prophecies. Eastern Christianity feels like a sect of idolatry, centered on icons and relics. Catholicism appears as a sect worshiping substitutes, such as the
This perspective reflects spiritual blindness. You have distorted views, all those who have not been born again do.
I read your website and this also explains your current state:
"I speak of God, but for me, He doesn’t come from the Bible. I looked for Him in Reality, and He opened Himself to me as Reality itself —beyond space and time, reasonable, logical. I’ve come to possess Reason; it feels like a gift bestowed upon me. Now, I can divide myself into reasonable and unreasonable. My sense of self depends on which part I embrace and which I ignore. I don’t fight to restrain my actions, correct my intentions, or shame myself for my reactions. Instead, I choose one part - reasonable, hold onto it, and live through it. The unreasonable nature mirrors all the traits of a sinful soul described in the Bible. The reasonable nature, though, transcends goodness and evil—and in it, I feel truly alive."
Well, God doesn't come from the Bible, our concept of God does. You must realize that God, the Creator, has a purpose for man and that is TO BE RECONCILED TO HIM THROUGH CHRIST.
How can we realize this. Well He would have had to communicate directly to us at some point. He did. The Bible is His message system that transcended the spiritual realm. God Himself entered into our realm, became a human and dwelt among us. That is direct communication. No other religion can claim that. All other religions are about appeasing God on some way through performance, deeds, good works. Christianity is not. It is not about what we can do to earn salvation, it's about what Christ did ti earn our salvation. He died for our sins. In all other religions, sins remain. There is nothing that can remove them and there are many. You claim you see Him in reality. What you see is His creation, invisible attributes, evidence of His handiwork. But He is not any part of the Universe that He created. In essence your view is nothing different, it's called "Pantheism"; and clinging to reason is just leaning on your own understanding.
You say you see God in reality? Jesus said "I am the way, the truth and the life ..." Truth can be translated as reality, what is real. " In Him all things consist". ( held together) That means He hold every atom in the Universe together, by His power. And when He says I am the life, He means I am the source of physical and spiritual life. So you have physical,; but you don't have spiritual life unless you have been regenerated by Him, born again. This happens only with those who believe in a Him! He gives us vision, enlightenment.
Despite the Bible's simple, direct instructions—repentance, rebirth through the Spirit, self-denial, and following Yeshua (Jesus) toward the Heavenly Kingdom where we will meet God as our Father, which is the main goal—Christianity has created numerous barriers and excuses to avoid following these teachings.
Rebelliousness, sin, pride are a person's barriers. He says, knock and the door will open, seek and you will find. He says, My yoke is easy and burden is light". That is not a barrier. There is nothing that one has to do, just believe and follow. When you are spiritually transformed, then you will produce good fruit. So far, Satn's fruit is all you have - deceptions, lies. You may experience temporal joy, happiness, but it is not the joy of the Lord, which is secure, eternal, real love or God.
Protestant churches search for the best way to worship God, believing that uncovering hidden secrets in the Bible or finding the right interpretation will earn God's blessings
We worship in obedience, love towards Him, by loving others. It's no big secret. We don't earn blessings, God simply loves us in ways that we need it. He provides. But there are spiritual principles at work here: reciprocity what you sow is what you reap. We give and it is given back to us ... no secret.
But hey, you'll likely reject all this. Just get ready. When the world really starts falling apart and I mean catastrophic disasters.( end time stuff), ask yourself how your reason will save you. Life will not be very reasonable for you.