Hi Nancy! I agree with you that this should not, in anyway, be a topic that causes division within the Church. But conversation should be held over it, as it seems to address important issues! I, like others here, wouldn't say I'm a "Calvinist", simply because that label has seemed to morph into something of it's own that is slightly misleading, but I would definitely say I'm not Arminian.
What I'd like to discuss first off, in regards to the article you linked to, is this paragraph:
"My main beef against Calvinism is the belief that God predestined certain people to be "elect"; in normal words, Calvinists believe that God dictated who will be saved before that person was even born. Now, that in itself is not so radical when you stop to consider how God sees time. But what is outragous is how Calvinists believe that man has no free will in the matter. I.e., man does not choose to follow God, God predestines man to follow God and be saved. So they believe that it's not: "Because you have faith in God and follow his ways, God will have mercy on you and save you." Instead, they believe it's: "Because God chose you, you will serve God and be saved." This paper will refute this notion."
In response to this, I would ask how he, or you, would react to this verse:
And not only so, but also when Rebekah had conceived children by one man, our forefather Isaac, though they were not yet born and had done nothing either good or bad—in order that God's purpose of election might continue, not because of works but because of him who calls— she was told, “The older will serve the younger.” As it is written, “Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated.” - Romans 9:10–13
Here we have a clear verse that shows two things: that before Jacob and Esau were born God had made a selection of one of them, based not on works but on God's will alone, and that this is for God's purpose of election. In fact, it would seem that indeed, election is a tenet of grace...he chooses us before we have done a single thing, thought a single thought, so we might not look back and go "look! God picked me because I did....!" If we can lay claim to our own "election", let's say, then would that not be a grounds to boast? "I saw my need"..."I saw I was dead in my sins and needed God". I can't see the bible teaching this. Does it not tell us that "no one seeks God" and that our salvation rests entirely on Christ? I must believe when it says "entirely", and that I cannot boast, that it means just that.