When I become engaged with anyone who shows interest in God (rather than doctrine),
Welcome to the forum. I think I get where you are coming from...a relationship with and knowledge of God is as Jesus said, eternal life. God is paramount. Who He is, what He is like, and how He is motivated towards sinful humans such as we all are.
Doctrine...aka truth.. that being the church's best understanding and iteration of God can be fraught with all manner of opinions and diverse thought. For me, it is through doctrine that we express our understanding of who God is, and His character. That's why I prefer to talk about doctrine, or theology, because by inference, directly and indirectly, we are talking about God. But that's just me I guess, but I do like what you said at the start... You like to get to know people personally and talk about their lives and their experience in their walk with God. That's cool. In doing that we also discover God, that he deals with all of us different according to our circumstances, personality, history, openness to new things, willingness to obey, resistance to the above.
But even in knowing what certain individuals believe, we can learn and appreciate the journey they took to come to that place. And what it might take to encourage them to continue in their journey and not become satisfied and content with the status quo. I think challenging people in their doctrinal beliefs is a way to challenge them to study and grow, whether to affirm themselves in what they have, or to investigate more fully what they may yet have to discover. All character building I think. Again, welcome.