How to respond to 13-year-old daughter who declares being gay

[RLT63]

There is no evidence that Paul called it anything. If the same thing was posted here about black people or any other minority people would be up in arms the words don't magically change just because they are directed at a different group of people

Rom 1:26 - For this reason God gave them up to vile passions. For even their women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature.
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Rom 1:27 - Likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust for one another, men with men committing what is shameful, and receiving in themselves the penalty of their error which was due.
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Rom 1:28 - And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a debased mind, to do those things which are not fitting;

 

[RLT63]

There is no evidence that Paul called it anything. If the same thing was posted here about black people or any other minority people would be up in arms the words don't magically change just because they are directed at a different group of people

1Co 6:9 - Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals,[fn] nor sodomites,
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1Co 6:10 - nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.

 

[amigo de christo]

There is no evidence that Paul called it anything. If the same thing was posted here about black people or any other minority people would be up in arms the words don't magically change just because they are directed at a different group of people

Skin tone aint sin my friend . SIN is sin . homosexuality is sin , murder is sin
lying is sin , but skin tone , NOPE aint sin . SO if anyone did try and say evil about someones skin color , THEN THEY should be
REBUKED .

 

[amigo de christo]

 

[St. SteVen]

Maybe she just saw some things on social media about it and declared it without truly understanding it or thinking it through.

Yes, how she arrived at this position is critical.
If she is just now coming to grips with a female sexual attraction she has always had,
that is more significant than some silliness with her friends.
Girls are more physically affectionate with each other than boys.
That doesn't automatically equate to being gay.

 

[amigo de christo]

Yes, how she arrived at this position is critical.
If she is just now coming to grips with a female sexual attraction she has always had,
that is more significant than some silliness with her friends.
Girls are more physically affectionate with each other than boys.
That doesn't automatically equate to being gay.

How HE ARRIVED . lets get that clear and straight .
That aint no she . its a confused HE .
Even the stork knows her appointed time , but my people has no knowledge .
Even an animal knows what sex it is , and yet mankind made in the image of GOD
seems to be having a problem with even that .

 

[Scott Downey]

Sexual immorality defiles a person. Any who declare they are homos are not acceptable to God. And should also be true with churches. Scripture clearly condemns this in OT and NT

 

[Scott Downey]

Disobey what God says, expect trouble from Him and spiritual death. It matters. You can not partake of the cup of demons and the cup of the Lord.

 

[BarneyFife]

I know the default answer is to "accept" the daughter's position on being gay as loving parents, but is it okay to discuss it and maybe show the daughter that she's actually not gay after all? Or will that be perceived as, "My parents don't love and accept me for being gay."? She might have friends who push that stance about the parents, which could cause harmful division between parents and daughter. Maybe she just saw some things on social media about it and declared it without truly understanding it or thinking it through. How should parents respond to a young teen if this comes up, especially knowing that other kids are egging her on and celebrating her newly-declared stance?

(Un)fortunately, depending on your perspective, I have first-hand experience with this issue, albeit my son was in his late 20s when he came to us with the news. He had been testing the waters for several months with us, so I knew something was up, but he's very clever and was well able to portray his concerns as being general, and not personal.

In fact, it all came about because he had a friend who was unabashedly gay and was suffering greatly from depression related directly, it seemed, to affairs of the heart. My son had known him for some time, had seen the decline in his mental health, and was moved with profound compassion for him. He told us that he was confused that he could feel so much concern for someone without being romantically attached.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

I had learned many years before that God was very much in the business of developing and improving relationships and that, as a rule, I was not. I believe I meant well but I had some proclivities bred and raised into me that could be impulsive and harsh at times.

But I also recognized that my son was headed down a long, hard road, and that I had to have extraordinary grace to, at worst, not inflame matters.

Very fortunately, Praise God, I was in something of a revival at the time, so I was praying effectually and somewhat fervently on a regular basis, and so I lost (by all accounts) no composure at the time the boy broke the news.

I can't overstate how providential this was because my son is as stubborn as the day is long and had he detected any hypocrisy, bigotry, or intolerance in my reaction he would have instantly steeled himself against any influence I might have exercised in the matter.

But, as it turns out, he slowly reached his own conclusion, at the (uncharacteristically) gentle urging of his mother, that his friend had, after all, exploited his emotions in an attempt to recruit him for the ranks of his militant, selfish ideology. As soon as he suggested to his friend that he might have been mistaken about his own feelings, that friend dropped him like a hot potato.

All throughout the crisis, I prayed like I had never prayed before, made small talk with him, and smiled with every bit of benevolence God was pleased to so graciously grant me.

A parent who has to deal with such a frightening development needn't bother taking much counsel with men. Every bit of advice I got was at variance with what God led me to do as a result of casting my care hopelessly upon Him, alone.

I have seen God work many miracles like this, and I can say without reservation that He works in direct proportion to the extent to which all parties involved will submit to His will.

The intercessor must pray, pray, pray.

And then pray some more.

When I couldn't find words I would bury myself in the Psalms and promises of God.

There is no better way.

Nothing is apparently more helpless, yet really more invincible, than the soul that feels its nothingness and relies wholly on the merits of the Saviour. By prayer, by the study of His word, by faith in His abiding presence, the weakest of human beings may live in contact with the living Christ, and He will hold them by a hand that will never let go.--Ministry Of Healing, p. 182

 

[TinMan]

Rom 1:26 - For this reason God gave them up to vile passions. For even their women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature.
Tools

Rom 1:27 - Likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust for one another, men with men committing what is shameful, and receiving in themselves the penalty of their error which was due.
Tools

Rom 1:28 - And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a debased mind, to do those things which are not fitting;

Just what is a vile passion? In the original Greek, the phrase is áthlia thlípsi which does not mean "passions" or "lust" as people experienced in normal, day-to-day living -- the type of emotion that one encounters in a marriage or sexually active relationship. If the phrase was supposed to be "vile passions" Paul would have used the correctly term áthlia pascho meaning to experience pain or to be vexed think of the phrase the passion of Christ, it refers to the crucifixion, not lust, pain.

Athlia thlípsi refers to the frenzied state of mind that many ancient mystery cults induced in worshipers by means of wine, drugs and music. In modern terms is would be the equivalent of speaking in tongues.

On to the word “natural” In the original Greek it is the word "phooskos", meaning "inborn", "produced by nature" , "agreeable to nature". It is referring directly to what is “natural” for the individual him/her self. Please remember that the society Paul is writing to, both Roman and Greek, considered homosexuality be natural. What would have been considered unnatural for Paul’s audience would have been to force oneself to go against one’s own nature, to pretend to be something one is not.

Paul specifically used the Greek word paraphysi here, which does not mean "to go against the law(s) of nature", that would be ενάντια στο νόμο or cenántia sto nómo . Rather it means to engage in action(s) which is uncharacteristic or against the nature of that person or more simply an individual denying his/her true nature. An example of the word paraphysin is used in Romans 1 1:24, where God acts in an uncharacteristic (paraphysin) way to accept the Gentiles. To claim that paraphysi means unnatural would indicate that God was acting in an unnatural way. Which is impossible.

 

[TinMan]

1Co 6:9 - Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals,[fn] nor sodomites,
Tools

1Co 6:10 - nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.

The word being translated into homosexual is arsenokoites and the simple fact is that no one knows just what the word means.
For most of the history of Christianity arsenokoites was translated to mean masturbation, the most recent bible to make this translation was 1968. It is only in the last fifty years or so that a shift in the translation of this word to mean homosexual has been seen. Historically it has also been translated to mean kidnappers, employing a prostitutes, practitioners of other religions, rapists and fathers who sexually molest their daughters.

The claim that arsenokoites means homosexual is made by maintaining that the meaning of this compound word is derived from the meaning of its two root words: arseno (man or men) and koitai (bed). This approach is linguistically invalid. Compound words don't derive their meaning form the meanings of their root words. A butterfly is not a levitating diary product and if you want to understand what I am saying you don't have to get out of your chair and hold your computer above your head. If one really wanted to push meaning form a compound then it is equally valid to claim that because arseno means man and koitai means bed Paul was obviously condemning the lazy

Worse for this translation is the fact that there are about 90 known instances of arsenokoitis appearing in contemporary writings and none of them can be construed to mean homosexual.

 

[RLT63]

Just what is a vile passion? In the original Greek, the phrase is áthlia thlípsi which does not mean "passions" or "lust" as people experienced in normal, day-to-day living -- the type of emotion that one encounters in a marriage or sexually active relationship. If the phrase was supposed to be "vile passions" Paul would have used the correctly term áthlia pascho meaning to experience pain or to be vexed think of the phrase the passion of Christ, it refers to the crucifixion, not lust, pain.

Athlia thlípsi refers to the frenzied state of mind that many ancient mystery cults induced in worshipers by means of wine, drugs and music. In modern terms is would be the equivalent of speaking in tongues.

On to the word “natural” In the original Greek it is the word "phooskos", meaning "inborn", "produced by nature" , "agreeable to nature". It is referring directly to what is “natural” for the individual him/her self. Please remember that the society Paul is writing to, both Roman and Greek, considered homosexuality be natural. What would have been considered unnatural for Paul’s audience would have been to force oneself to go against one’s own nature, to pretend to be something one is not.

Paul specifically used the Greek word paraphysi here, which does not mean "to go against the law(s) of nature", that would be ενάντια στο νόμο or cenántia sto nómo . Rather it means to engage in action(s) which is uncharacteristic or against the nature of that person or more simply an individual denying his/her true nature. An example of the word paraphysin is used in Romans 1 1:24, where God acts in an uncharacteristic (paraphysin) way to accept the Gentiles. To claim that paraphysi means unnatural would indicate that God was acting in an unnatural way. Which is impossible.

You may think that you know more than the scholars who translated every version of the Bible but you don’t. Your post is ridiculous.

 

[TinMan]

Skin tone aint sin my friend . SIN is sin . homosexuality is sin , murder is sin lying is sin , but skin tone , NOPE aint sin .

and racists claim that black people acting as the social and moral equal of whites is sin.

SO if anyone did try and say evil about someones skin color , THEN THEY should be
REBUKED .

just like anyone who says anything evil about anyone they should be rebuked

 

[RLT63]

The word being translated into homosexual is arsenokoites and the simple fact is that no one knows just what the word means.
For most of the history of Christianity arsenokoites was translated to mean masturbation, the most recent bible to make this translation was 1968. It is only in the last fifty years or so that a shift in the translation of this word to mean homosexual has been seen. Historically it has also been translated to mean kidnappers, employing a prostitutes, practitioners of other religions, rapists and fathers who sexually molest their daughters.

The claim that arsenokoites means homosexual is made by maintaining that the meaning of this compound word is derived from the meaning of its two root words: arseno (man or men) and koitai (bed). This approach is linguistically invalid. Compound words don't derive their meaning form the meanings of their root words. A butterfly is not a levitating diary product and if you want to understand what I am saying you don't have to get out of your chair and hold your computer above your head. If one really wanted to push meaning form a compound then it is equally valid to claim that because arseno means man and koitai means bed Paul was obviously condemning the lazy

Worse for this translation is the fact that there are about 90 known instances of arsenokoitis appearing in contemporary writings and none of them can be construed to mean homosexual.

What Does

That word is an unusual word. It’s a new word; we don’t know of any other instances of the word until Paul coins the word in 1 Corinthians 6 and 1 Timothy 1.

www.crossway.org

. Then there is this. Lev 18:22 - ‘You shall not lie with a male as with a woman. It is an abomination.

 

[TinMan]

I have no interest in watching propaganda, can you summarize?

 

[TinMan]

Sexual immorality defiles a person. Any who declare they are homos are not acceptable to God. And should also be true with churches. Scripture clearly condemns this in OT and NT

So gays and lesbians would be acceptable to God if they lied about who they were?

 

[TinMan]

You may think that you know more than the scholars who translated every version of the Bible but you don’t. Your post is ridiculous.

So refute what I said instead of what amounts to stomping your feet.

 

[RLT63]

So refute what I said instead of what amounts to stomping your feet.

Lev 18:22 - ‘You shall not lie with a male as with a woman. It is an abomination.

 

[TinMan]

What Does

That word is an unusual word. It’s a new word; we don’t know of any other instances of the word until Paul coins the word in 1 Corinthians 6 and 1 Timothy 1.

www.crossway.org

From your link: "It’s a new word; we don’t know of any other instances of the word until Paul coins the word in 1 Corinthians 6 and 1 Timothy 1."
Philo said the word means "temple prostitute" in Philo, The Special Laws, III, VII, 40-42 Which predates Paul by about 30 years years.


"It’s a compound word: “arsen” means man and “koite” or “koitas” or “koitai”—depending on a verb or a noun—means bed. It’s men who bed with other men."
arsen = man, koitas = bed. Paul is condemning the lazy


" Look at the Septuagint, which is the Greek translation of the Hebrew Bible, and then just look at the Greek for the necessary passage in Leviticus 18 and Leviticus 20 and you'll see there (and in fact the words are right next to each other in Leviticus 20) this word for man (“arsen”) and the word for bed (“koitai” or “koite”)."
The two words appear right next to each other 17 times in the Septuagint. What did they mean all these other times?

 

[TinMan]

Lev 18:22 - ‘You shall not lie with a male as with a woman. It is an abomination.

This is not addressing anything I posted.

Again, refute what I posted and stop stamping your feet.