How to respond to 13-year-old daughter who declares being gay

[TLHKAJ]

Love your daughter. Don't judge her. Pray for her. The rest is up to God.

This is good, and yet I would add that we are instructed scripturally to train up a child in the way he should go. A child at age 13 is still under our teaching and training.

@Logo
Pray for wisdom from Holy Spirit for the words to speak, and how to walk in love toward her. This is confusion and confusion came in somehow. Maybe she can identify when this began. And honestly, I'd be proactive even if it meant moving, changing jobs so that more time could be spent with her. That sounds drastic, I know. But nothing is more important than our children. As a mother, I moved 4 times for the sake of my children's safety. Your daughter's circle of friends may be toxic. Her school may be teaching confusion as many public schools do. The school library quite possibly has books teaching about homosexual sex. (I've seen testimony of children who brought this to the attention of their parents.)

Do the legwork and get to the root. Has she felt neglected, needed time with her parents to talk, or has she experienced some sort of sexual abuse? Confusion came in somehow.

I hope this doesn't anger anyone, but I had to choose truth as a 14 year old when satan tried to convince me I was a lesbian. I had come to Christ at age 13. I came from a home of severe abuse and trauma where I was sexually used by both men and women. When a woman in the church came toward me to hug me and my body interpreted it in a sexual way (because I had let my guard/walls down), it scared me and satan went to work on my mind. But my body was doing what it was trained to do since infancy.... not because that's who I was, but because people had manipulated my body in ways that were unholy. As a 14 year old, I didn't understand all the "whys" around how my body reacted, but I chose truth. And God brought me more understanding as I got older and He began to heal me of all that wounding.

Add: I was afraid of men, and avoided physical closeness. So naturally, when I came to Christ, I let my walls down first around the women in the church.

I'm not saying your daughter's experience is the same as mine... not at all. But there will be an open door somewhere. And since she is a believer, she needs to choose truth.

 

[TLHKAJ]

Thanks for all the good posts. Once I filtered out all the misinterpreted and garbled posts from TinMan, I was able to provide some good advice to the parents of this girl. She has since denounced her declaration and has a crush on a certain boy, so it turned out to be much ado about nothing. The parents’ loving response and prayers probably had a lot to do with the positive outcome.

Excellent!! This is great news! I had just posted a response ...which I suppose wasn't needed. But maybe someone will come along who needs what I shared.
Blessings in Christ,
AJ

 

[Patrick1966]

This is good, and yet I would add that we are instructed scripturally to train up a child in the way he should go. A child at age 13 is still under our teaching and training.

Amen.

 

[TinMan]

Staying single does not defy God.1Co 7:1 - Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 1Co 7:8 - I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.

The very same thing homosexuals are being attacked and condemned here for.

 

[Patrick1966]

The very same thing homosexuals are being attacked and condemned here for.

In what post in this thread were homosexuals "attacked and condemned"?

 

[TinMan]

Who is they? Not just homo's...homo's that are out of control. Imprisonment is in a prison....not a mental health facility.

Have their individual rights been suspended? yes
Have their personal freedom's been taken away? Yes
Can they leave? no
Are there guards? yes

It's imprisonment.

You are right, but that has nothing to do with someone deciding to be sexually immoral.

They are being abused because they are LGBT.

No body is talking about institutionalizing homosexuals....

You are. You said: "they need to be committed to an institution."

I was referring to someone so mentally deranged that they were out of control.
That sort of person is a danger to himself and everyone else.

Choosing to have sex with someone you don't approve of makes LGBT individuals out of control.

I am not justifying child abuse. I suggested counseling.

"They shame their families"

Again all you do is twist what people say....you have nothing to offer here but irritation.
So good-bye

How is quoting you directly twisting anything?

 

[TinMan]

Thanks for all the good posts. Once I filtered out all the misinterpreted and garbled posts from TinMan, I was able to provide some good advice to the parents of this girl. She has since denounced her declaration and has a crush on a certain boy, so it turned out to be much ado about nothing. The parents’ loving response and prayers probably had a lot to do with the positive outcome.

 

[Patrick1966]

Have their individual rights been suspended? yes
Have their personal freedom's been taken away? Yes
Can they leave? no
Are there guards? yes

It's imprisonment.

They are being abused because they are LGBT.

You are. You said: "they need to be committed to an institution."

Choosing to have sex with someone you don't approve of makes LGBT individuals out of control.

"They shame their families"

How is quoting you directly twisting anything?

I see. I didn't see his posts because I have him on "ignore".

 

[Logo]

I see. I didn't see his posts because I have him on "ignore".

Ah, good idea. I shall do the same.

 

[TinMan]

In what post in this thread were homosexuals "attacked and condemned"?

post 18 was tossing around the words evil and unnatural. If that was being said about any other minority it would be considered an attack.

 

[TinMan]

I see. I didn't see his posts because I have him on "ignore".

Kind of a childish response isn't it?

 

[Patrick1966]

post 18 was tossing around the words evil and unnatural. If that was being said about any other minority it would be considered an attack.

I went back and read the post and it appears that your characterization of that post is inaccurate.

 

[Patrick1966]

Kind of a childish response isn't it?

Mine or his? As I said, I no longer read his comments.

 

[Patrick1966]

Ah, good idea. I shall do the same.

He's the only poster that I have on "ignore" and I only did so after he made it clear that there is nothing fruitful or edifying in engaging with him. I hope that he will modify his behavior so that I can one day engage in positive discussions with him.

Jesus told the apostles to "shake the dust" from their sandals after visiting communities that rejected his word. Sometimes, we have to shake the sandals even with fellow believers.

 

[amigo de christo]

I went back and read the post and it appears that your characterization of that post is inaccurate.

INDEED it was . i was worried for a second when i seen your other response .

 

[amigo de christo]

post 18 was tossing around the words evil and unnatural. If that was being said about any other minority it would be considered an attack.

Go look at what paul called it . was he evil , was he an attacker , hater .
SIN gets exposed . We do it for the good of those in such sins . Correction is not a sin
to call a sin a sin is not SIN .

 

[Patrick1966]

When done in the right way, telling another the truth might be the most loving thing that can be done for them.

 

[RLT63]

The very same thing homosexuals are being attacked and condemned here for.

No that’s not the reason. Those verses don’t apply to homosexuality. There are verses that do .

 

[TinMan]

I went back and read the post and it appears that your characterization of that post is inaccurate

SO he didn't use the words unnatural and evil????

 

[TinMan]

Go look at what paul called it . was he evil , was he an attacker , hater .
SIN gets exposed . We do it for the good of those in such sins . Correction is not a sin
to call a sin a sin is not SIN .

There is no evidence that Paul called it anything. If the same thing was posted here about black people or any other minority people would be up in arms the words don't magically change just because they are directed at a different group of people