How to respond to 13-year-old daughter who declares being gay

[Grailhunter]

1. 13 is a little young for her to know that for sure. So do not over react.
2. There needs to be a discussion about any kind of sexual activity at that age.
3. Does your family go to church? If not find a good church. Pray about it but do not make her think she is awful. Or that you are rejecting her.
4. If she continues to think she is gay, she probably needs to talk to a councilor...

 

[Logo]

Just like heterosexuality is a sexual decision.

Heterosexuality was 100% innate for me and not a "decision".

 

[TinMan]

Heterosexuality was 100% innate for me and not a "decision".

Heterosexuality is no more a decision than homosexuality.

 

[ScottA]

It would be healthy environment if she lied about it?

He fact she trusted her parents enough to come out to them shows she was not in a destructive environment but a healthy and loving one. Weather her environment remains positive or becomes destructive is now in the hands of her parents.

All of that would only be true if you wanted to act against God who created mankind male and female, first separating them, that they should again become one -- not two men, not two women, but one man and one women, as a model and practice that points to the marriage between Christ and the church, which is the purpose of God for creation and life.

And so you might fully understand: The Christ and church union is a union of God and mankind. That is what this is all about, nothing else. Conversely, a union of a man with a man portrays a union of God with God, excluding mankind from the eternal plan of God. Likewise, a union of a woman with a woman portrays a union of mankind with mankind, excluding God. Only one of these unions leads to life everlasting for mankind. Meaning that for your misguided ideas of love and honesty, you are promoting death.

My advice to you, is that you do not weigh in on what you do not fully understand.

 

[TinMan]

1. 13 is a little young for her to know that for sure. So do not over react.
2. There needs to be a discussion about any kind of sexual activity at that age.
3. Does your family go to church? If not find a good church. Pray about it but do not make her think she is awful. Or that you are rejecting her.
4. If she continues to think she is gay, she probably needs to talk to a councilor...

1. How old were you when you knew "for sure"?
2. Such a discussion should happen no matter what orientation the 13 year old is.
3. You say don't be hurtful or rejecting but then you post your 4th point.

 

[TinMan]

All of that would only be true if you wanted to act against God who created mankind male and female, first separating them, that they should again become one -- not two men, not two women, but one man and one women, as a model and practice that points to the marriage between Christ and the church, which is the purpose of God for creation and life.

So celibates are unnatural and evil and come from destructive environments?

And so you might fully understand: The Christ and church union is a union of God and mankind. That is what this is all about, nothing else. Conversely, a union of a man with a man portrays a union of God with God, excluding mankind from the eternal plan of God. Likewise, a union of a woman with a woman portrays a union of mankind with mankind, excluding God. Only one of these unions leads to life everlasting for mankind. Meaning that for your misguided ideas of love and honesty, you are promoting death.

My advice to you, is that you do not weigh in on what you do not fully understand.

My advice to you is that you should take your own advice.

 

[ScottA]

So celibates are unnatural and evil and come from destructive environments?

You misunderstand. What are the numbers/percentages? --Were there not 12 apostles (spiritually representing 12 tribes and all people), one of which was a devil?

My advice to you is that you should take your own advice.

Good--then you should understand why I have spoken rather than staying silent, as you should have done. Do you not know that this is why it is written "women keep silent in the churches"-- because they portray the whole church (men and women alike), the bride of Christ, as if all women?

Would you rather I not tell you that you are dancing at the wedding--with the devil?

 

[Grailhunter]

1. How old were you when you knew "for sure"?

I really was not thinking of choices and didn't really think about homosexuals and then I dream of jeannie came out!!!! And John Wayne and Clint Eastwood westerns so.....

Such a discussion should happen no matter what orientation the 13 year old is.

Depends on what type of discussion or context you are referring to.

You say don't be hurtful or rejecting but then you post your 4th point.

I did not say psychiatrist or therapist, I said counselor....some one to talk to.

 

[Grailhunter]

1. How old were you when you knew "for sure"?
2. Such a discussion should happen no matter what orientation the 13 year old is.
3. You say don't be hurtful or rejecting but then you post your 4th point.

Part of the problem is the topic of choices taught in school, society, and entertainment.
With kids it really is garbage in, garbage out. That is why our kids should be in church.

 

[dev553344]

Just like heterosexuality is a sexual decision.

It would appear, as @ScottA said, you've missed the point.

 

[dev553344]

I really was not thinking of choices and didn't really think about homosexuals and then I dream of jeannie came out!!!! And John Wayne and Clint Eastwood westerns so.....

Depends on what type of discussion or context you are referring to.


I did not say psychiatrist or therapist, I said counselor....some one to talk to.

I have a Christian counselor that I see. Well she's a counselor but she's also Christian. But I was thinking something along the lines of a Christian counselor might be helpful if she is willing. If she is angry and in denial about it then it wouldn't help.

I think just attending church where she can feel the spirit of God might be of most help. Eventually she might catch on as to what is right and what is wrong.

 

[TinMan]

You misunderstand. What are the numbers/percentages? --Were there not 12 apostles (spiritually representing 12 tribes and all people), one of which was a devil?

You condemn homosexuals as being unnatural and under the influence of evil because they defy God and don't marry someone of the opposite gender and they don't have children....which is exactly what celibates do. Are celibates also unnatural and under the influence of evil and defying God?

Good--then you should understand why I have spoken rather than staying silent, as you should have done. Do you not know that this is why it is written "women keep silent in the churches"-- because they portray the whole church (men and women alike), the bride of Christ, as if all women?

Would you rather I not tell you that you are dancing at the wedding--with the devil?

If you dared to call my wedding dancing companion the devil i would defend her honor and punch you in the face.

 

[TinMan]

Part of the problem is the topic of choices taught in school, society, and entertainment.
With kids it really is garbage in, garbage out. That is why our kids should be in church.

The only choice LGBT kids make is deciding who it's safe to tell.

 

[TinMan]

It would appear, as @ScottA said, you've missed the point.

No I got the points of your statement I got you are trying to say that one orientation is somehow a choice but the other orientation is somehow not. I also got that you are trying to say that one orientation is just about sex but the other is, strangely not all about sex.

 

[TinMan]

I have a Christian counselor that I see. Well she's a counselor but she's also Christian. But I was thinking something along the lines of a Christian counselor might be helpful if she is willing. If she is angry and in denial about it then it wouldn't help.

I think just attending church where she can feel the spirit of God might be of most help. Eventually she might catch on as to what is right and what is wrong.

Angry and in denial about what?

 

[Logo]

Heterosexuality is no more a decision than homosexuality.

Much of the latter is a chosen lifestyle driven by society.

 

[Patrick1966]

Demonstrating love for her is easy and not an issue. I'm just wondering if it's damaging to discuss it beyond that.

Daughter: I'm gay.
Parent: That's okay. I love you no matter what.
End of story because you don't want to damage the kid.

Or should there be more discussion?

Daughter: I'm gay.
Parent: I love you no matter what, kiddo. Can you tell me what makes you say that?
Dialogue follows...

You sound based. That's good!

You might share with her the word of God about the roles that God created for men and women as well as verses about how homosexuality is displeasing to God. I would add, however, that even homosexuals are loved by God just like God loves ALL sinners and ALL of us are sinners.

Have you asked her if she would like to have children and a family? Being heterosexual is far more conducive to that end.

 

[dev553344]

No I got the points of your statement I got you are trying to say that one orientation is somehow a choice but the other orientation is somehow not. I also got that you are trying to say that one orientation is just about sex but the other is, strangely not all about sex.

Your arguing for gay people then, why is that?

 

[Patrick1966]

a chosen lifestyle driven by society.

Along with Satan and his dark angels and demons.

 

[dev553344]

Along with Satan and his dark angels and demons.

Yes Satan drives homosexuality to defile the children of God. He likes to make us look like idiots. Homosexuality is an act against the nature of mankind. Male and female is natural. Homosexuality is not natural.