How to respond to 13-year-old daughter who declares being gay

[TinMan]

Much of the latter is a chosen lifestyle driven by society.

the average out or outed LFBT teenager experience being verbally harassed or attacked an average of 26 times a week in school, 1/3 of these attacks come from staff.

Over half are threatened with violence on a weekly basis again about a third of these threats come from staff.

25% receive at least one death threat in school

Out or outed LGBT youth are 80 times more likely to be physically abused by their parents.

One out of 4 out or outed kids are forced out of their homes either by being thrown out or having to leave because of violence in the home.

An average of 50 confirmed cases a month of out or outed kids being killed by a family member because of their orientation. The actual number is probably much much higher

Do you really think anyone chooses this?

 

[TinMan]

Your arguing for gay people then, why is that?

I argue for any people who are being maligned.

 

[Grailhunter]

the average out or outed LFBT teenager experience being verbally harassed or attacked an average of 26 times a week in school, 1/3 of these attacks come from staff.

Over half are threatened with violence on a weekly basis again about a third of these threats come from staff.

25% receive at least one death threat in school

Out or outed LGBT youth are 80 times more likely to be physically abused by their parents.

One out of 4 out or outed kids are forced out of their homes either by being thrown out or having to leave because of violence in the home.

An average of 50 confirmed cases a month of out or outed kids being killed by a family member because of their orientation. The actual number is probably much much higher

Do you really think anyone chooses this?

They may not choose the feelings, but they definitely choose the action.
For example a kleptomaniac may not choose to have the desire to steal....but he chooses to steal.
The concept that God cannot blame people for being out of control....does not hold water.
It is a destructive concept.....some women say they have the right of control of their reproduction organs so abortion should be legal.
But they do have control of their reproductive organs....if they do not want a baby, don't have sex.

 

[Logo]

the average out or outed LFBT teenager experience being verbally harassed or attacked an average of 26 times a week in school, 1/3 of these attacks come from staff.

Over half are threatened with violence on a weekly basis again about a third of these threats come from staff.

25% receive at least one death threat in school

Out or outed LGBT youth are 80 times more likely to be physically abused by their parents.

One out of 4 out or outed kids are forced out of their homes either by being thrown out or having to leave because of violence in the home.

An average of 50 confirmed cases a month of out or outed kids being killed by a family member because of their orientation. The actual number is probably much much higher

Do you really think anyone chooses this?

100%. People make choices and choose lifestyles knowing they'll get razzed by certain groups, yet there's also the acceptance and approval by peers of their own group. Some people choose to do drag knowing it, yet the rewards coming from those who accept them is greater than the pain of those who hassle them. I doubt 13-year-olds are aware of the stats you posted. They're driven by being accepted by certain groups in their circles. And by the way, I have friends and coworkers who are gay and we all get along great, so I'm not one of those who judge them, because I know I'm not perfect either.

 

[TinMan]

They may not choose the feelings, but they definitely choose the action.

The girl in the OP is 13. Just what "action" do you think she has done?

And how does justify any of the abuse or violence LGBT kids experience?

For example a kleptomaniac may not choose to have the desire to steal....but he chooses to steal.

Because minorities are just like criminals.

The concept that God cannot blame people for being out of control....does not hold water.

any justification for hurting kids, any kid, Or defending violence against children just does not hold water

It is a destructive concept.....some women say they have the right of control of their reproduction organs so abortion should be legal.
But they do have control of their reproductive organs....if they do not want a baby, don't have sex.

I watched a documentary on lynching some years ago. At one point a person who had just participated in the kidnapping and public murder to black teenagers explained that if the boys had not gotten uppity and behaved like they were supposed to then he and his friends wouldn't have been forced to kill them.

 

[TinMan]

100%. People make choices and choose lifestyles knowing they'll get razzed by certain groups, yet there's also the acceptance and approval by peers of their own group. Some people choose to do drag knowing it, yet the rewards coming from those who accept them is greater than the pain of those who hassle them. I doubt 13-year-olds are aware of the stats you posted. They're driven by being accepted by certain groups in their circles. And by the way, I have friends and coworkers who are gay and we all get along great, so I'm not one of those who judge them, because I know I'm not perfect either.

the only choice your daughter made was to trust you enough to come out of the closet. Is she regretting that choice?

 

[Grailhunter]

The girl in the OP is 13. Just what "action" do you think she has done?

We have not discussed her doing anything.
The only action mentioned was homo's in general. They may not choose their feelings, but they choose their actions.

 

[Grailhunter]

And how does justify any of the abuse or violence LGBT kids experience?

No one has spoke of violence or justified violence.

Because minorities are just like criminals.

I do not think kleptomania is associated with race or wealth.

 

[Grailhunter]

any justification for hurting kids, any kid, Or defending violence against children just does not hold water

I have not seen anyone here try to justify hurting kids.

I watched a documentary on lynching some years ago. At one point a person who had just participated in the kidnapping and public murder to black teenagers explained that if the boys had not gotten uppity and behaved like they were supposed to then he and his friends wouldn't have been forced to kill them.

So?

 

[ScottA]

You condemn homosexuals as being unnatural and under the influence of evil because they defy God and don't marry someone of the opposite gender and they don't have children....which is exactly what celibates do. Are celibates also unnatural and under the influence of evil and defying God?

I have condemned no one, but have only stated what is true with God.

As for celibates, what is a celibate but one who does not become one flesh with the Groom? I tell you (as do the scriptures), such are those who perish.

If you dared to call my wedding dancing companion the devil i would defend her honor and punch you in the face.

If you saw that there is a third person dancing with you, you would know that it is not me who has offended you. On the contrary, I have only pointed him out to you as a warning.

 

[ScottA]

the average out or outed LFBT teenager experience being verbally harassed or attacked an average of 26 times a week in school, 1/3 of these attacks come from staff.

Over half are threatened with violence on a weekly basis again about a third of these threats come from staff.

25% receive at least one death threat in school

Out or outed LGBT youth are 80 times more likely to be physically abused by their parents.

One out of 4 out or outed kids are forced out of their homes either by being thrown out or having to leave because of violence in the home.

An average of 50 confirmed cases a month of out or outed kids being killed by a family member because of their orientation. The actual number is probably much much higher

Do you really think anyone chooses this?

Which then is more difficult, to go with one's feelings against what is natural and godly, or to go against one's feelings but with God?

Is that not a choice?

 

[ScottA]

I argue for any people who are being maligned.

It is good to come to their defense. But what defense is it to condone their actions against God? None. To the contrary, you are enabling them like one who gives drugs to a junky instead of a sandwich. It would be better for them if you said nothing.

The point is...if you really want to help these people, don't encourage them to sink further into the depths, but instead encourage them to look up and swim as if their life depends on it. Because it does.

 

[TinMan]

We have not discussed her doing anything.
The only action mentioned was homo's in general. They may not choose their feelings, but they choose their actions.

and so do the people who abuse them.

 

[TinMan]

I have not seen anyone here try to justify hurting kids.

So?

that was pretty much your implication. In responding to a post about the horrific levels of abuse LGBT kids face your response was, it's their choice.

 

[TinMan]

I have condemned no one, but have only stated what is true with God.

God didn't write your post. Man up and own what you wrote.

As for celibates, what is a celibate but one who does not become one flesh with the Groom? I tell you (as do the scriptures), such are those who perish.

This is called special pleading, look it up

 

[TinMan]

Which then is more difficult, to go with one's feelings against what is natural and godly, or to go against one's feelings but with God?

Is that not a choice?

Abusing children is always a choice.

 

[TinMan]

It is good to come to their defense. But what defense is it to condone their actions against God? None. To the contrary, you are enabling them like one who gives drugs to a junky instead of a sandwich. It would be better for them if you said nothing.

The point is...if you really want to help these people, don't encourage them to sink further into the depths, but instead encourage them to look up and swim as if their life depends on it. Because it does.

and I am trying to help the people how are maligning others.

 

[ScottA]

God didn't write your post. Man up and own what you wrote.



This is called special pleading, look it up

You misunderstand. I am not arguing with you--I'm telling you. But it would be wrong of me to claim anything as coming from me.

 

[ScottA]

Abusing children is always a choice.

That is not what we are talking about. Regardless, the truth might hurt, but it is not abuse.

 

[Grailhunter]

that was pretty much your implication. In responding to a post about the horrific levels of abuse LGBT kids face your response was, it's their choice.

I did not respond with simply it is their choice.
I take it that you are the kind that comes up with your own conversation and replies and then try to put words in people's mouth.
On the topic of choice of a 13 year old girl. My advise....copy and pasted here so you cannot twist it...
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1. 13 is a little young for her to know that for sure. So do not over react.
2. There needs to be a discussion about any kind of sexual activity at that age.
3. Does your family go to church? If not find a good church. Pray about it but do not make her think she is awful. Or that you are rejecting her.
4. If she continues to think she is gay, she probably needs to talk to a councilor...
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On the topic of..... 13 is a little young for her to know that for sure. It is a well known fact that some young adults will experiment a little with their sexuality and that it does not usually set them one way or another....so my advice to not over react....is valid.

On the topic of choice for a young person....that is why I recommended a councilor.....making an informed decision.

Because as you pointed out, all of the horrific ramifications of being LGBT is something that needs to be taken into consideration.
They are pretty much out casts from society and discriminated against for jobs and housing. Violence is not unheard of for sure.
They shame their families, particularly those that are Christian and their families may shun them. All this is wrong but it does happen.
How many homosexuals that you know end up doing drugs and catching various diseases.

Then from the biblical perspective they are damn and will likely go to Hell.

So again my advise to seek counseling is valid. So that the young person can make a informed decision. They can talk over all the ramifications and dangers and if they decide to live the LGBT lifestyle, then they are free to do so.