LEXOPHILIA for Lexophiles

[JustMe]

 

[JustMe]

Why didn't the kid tell his mom he ate glue? His lips were sealed.

 

[JustMe]

A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.

 

[JustMe]

The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.

 

[JustMe]

In a democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism, it’s your Count that votes.

 

[talons]

I was kidnapped by a gang of memes , they did unspeakable things to me .

 

[JustMe]

Why was six scared? Because seven ate nine.

 

[JustMe]

Know any good jokes about ropes? I'm a frayed knot.

 

[JustMe]

 

[JustMe]

Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1

 

[JustMe]

Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I went heels over head.

 

[JustMe]

While experimenting with Asian and Latin American food, Iran out of Chile.

 

[JustMe]

What do they call their kids in Belgium?

Brussels Sprouts.

 

[JustMe]

What genre are national anthems?

Country.

 

[JustMe]

What do you call counterfeited German currency?

Question marks.

 

[JustMe]

Where do Australian animals go for vacation?

Koala Lumpur.

 

[JustMe]

I watched a Hindu version of “How I Met Your Mother.” There’s just one episode about the wedding.

 

[JustMe]

Why were the people at the bar confused by the Spanish southerner?

Because he kept talking in Espan-y'all.

 

[JustMe]

Dogs can't operate MRI machines, but catscan.

 

[JustMe]

Why did the employee at the calendar company get fired? He took a day off. (better?)