LEXOPHILIA for Lexophiles

[JustMe]

How was the airport security in Los Angeles?

Quite LAX.

 

[JustMe]

Did you hear about fire at the shoe factory? Many soles were lost.

 

[JustMe]

A chicken and an egg go into a restaurant. The host asks, “Which of you is first?”

 

[JustMe]

What did the duck say when the waiter gave him the check? “Put it on my bill.” (From 'Blast from the Past' movie)

 

[JustMe]

I'd run away with you but I cantaloupe.

 

[Jay Ross]

I'd run away with you but I cantaloupe.

I'd run away with you but I am either a water melon (American usage/understanding) or a Rock melon (Australian and New Zealand usage/understanding) and as such I do not run but can only roll away with you. LOL

Either melon is rather watery.

 

[JustMe]

I'd run away with you but I am either a water melon (American usage/understanding) or a Rock melon (Australian and New Zealand usage/understanding) and as such I do not run but can only roll away with you. LOL

Either melon is rather watery.

Well Jay, you can still roll away if you don't get stuck in the doughnut shop .....

 

[Jay Ross]

Well Jay, you can still roll away if you don't get stuck in the doughnut shop .....

You know that a cantaloupe goes to water when over stressed.

 

[JustMe]

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

 

[JustMe]

What kept the polecat reporter busy all day? Ferreting out details.

 

[JustMe]

Most people are shocked when they find out how bad I am as an electrician.

 

[JustMe]

I can’t stop thinking about grilling, it’s like an obsession that’s sizzling hot.

 

[JustMe]

Light travels faster than sound, which is the reason that some people appear bright before you hear them speak.

 

[JustMe]

The easiest time to add (an) insult to injury is when you're signing someone's cast.

 

[JustMe]

My therapist says I have a preoccupation with revenge. We'll see about that.

 

[JustMe]

Russian dolls are so full of themselves.

 

[JustMe]

People who use selfie sticks really need to have a good, long look at themselves.

 

[JustMe]

A termite walks into the bar and asks, 'Is the bar tender here?

 

[JustMe]

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

 

[JustMe]

The problem isn't that obesity runs in your family. It's that no one runs in your family.