I'm saying if I'm to forgive as Jesus forgives, even while someone is torturing me, I am to forgive them, they don't know what they are doing. But you say I am only obligated to forgive them if they ask me to. Once again though, I won't lie and say I am able to do that.
Ah... you are referencing Stephen's statement when he was being stoned. Yes, well the situation there was that Stephen was asking God to forgive them because they were committing a grave sin in killing a servant of God. But again, the question becomes, what is saying by the word "forgive." If you go back to the original verse that she posted in the OP, you have the Lord commanding that if your brother sins against you, rebuke (i.e correct, chastise) him. And if he repents, then forgive him. This is the same pattern repeated in other passages as well that we can get to in a minute. So when Stephen is praying to God to "forgive them," it is still contingent upon this pattern. They will have to ASK God to forgive them before He will.
In the Parable of the Unmerciful Debtor, we have this:
21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”
22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.[a]
23 “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. 25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
26 “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ 27 The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.
28 “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins.[c] He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.
29 “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’
30 “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.
32 “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34 In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
35 “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
Now in v. 21 Peter starts off by simply asking how many times should he forgive, without any qualification about whether the person asks for it or not. But in v.26 you see the qualification our Lord puts upon it (if you believe the Parable is about God forgiving sins). You see it again implied as necessary in v.28 when the wicked debtor refuses forgiveness to someone who was
specifically asking for forgiveness. Then the Lord simply references in v.33 that there are occasions when He will NOT forgive, and this includes the disciples if they do not obey Him, as v.35 states. He was talking to them directly, not theoretically, and they understood very well that He was talking to them directly.